It was absolutely packed with people.
Apparently, as Alex put it when they started to walk up, the only things that brought a neighborhood out in masse was the murder of a child or a really good BBQ. Lillian knew she shouldn't laugh, but she couldn't help but chuckle, and that was precisely why she brought Alexis along. They'd each been handed a candle upon arrival, already lit, and began to make their way through the crowd. "How long am I supposed to hold this for?" Alex asked, "Can I eventually put it down someplace?" "I think, the way these things usually work, is that yes you'll eventually place it at the memorial site they've built." "Don't get me wrong, I'm not coldhearted, what happened was awful, but, like..." Alex sighed, "...kids die every single day. Whether it's an accident, or an illness, or in some cases like this one, a straight up murder, kids dying is nothing new. But the kids who have accidents or illnesses never get shrines or memorialized. Why is murder the only one that seems to bring out the heartfelt sentiment of the neighborhood?" "Because those other two happen fairly naturally. As a neighborhood, we don't like to think that our children are two doors away from the end of their lives," Lillian said, "This is why the whole neighborhood turns out when something like this happens, because we just try and ignore the fact that it can." "When I was in high school-" Alex started. "What, like 6 months ago?" Lillian interrupted, making her smirk. "shut up, but when I was in high school, this girl murdered her boyfriend and they had a whole, like, ceremony for it at the school, and it was just weird seeing these other girls who'd been treated so badly by her suddenly have empathy for this monster. I don't know. Humans creep me out." "I can't argue with you," Lillian mumbled, before knocking elbows with another woman, who turned to face her; Lillian smiled, "Oh, Rina! What...what are you doing here?" "Apparently it's the place to be," Alex said. "I babysat a few times," Rina said, "Maddie's here too, somewhere. Her parents asked me to bring her. What are you guys doing here?" "Didn't you hear me? It's the place to be," Alex restated, making Lillian and Rina chuckle. "We...we just came cause it felt like the right thing to do. I mean, everyone else showed up, so," Lillian said, "This is the second death she's been around in just a few months. First that kid at her party, and now this kid, though she probably didn't know this kid." "They went to the same after school program a few times," Rina said, "In the same school district, so. But no, you're right, she didn't know them, thank god. Girl is riddled with enough problems without adding more on. Who's your friend?" "This is Alex, she works for the costume company I work for," Lillian said, as Rina held out her hand to shake, which Alex politely shook her head at, then held up her free hand, indicating it was gloved. "Germs," she said, "Not gonna happen." "Fair," Rina said. "I'm gonna see if I can track down Maddie, you guys just hang out for a minute, okay?" Lillian asked, the two of them agreeing, before she disappeared into the sea of people to search for Maddison. Rina shoved her hands in her coat pocket and looked around at the people, before looking back at Alexis. "This sort of thing is what keeps me from wanting kids," Rina said, "I'm down with everything else, I babysit for god sakes, clearly I'm good with children, but...the idea that something absolutely horrendous can happen to an innocent child is just..." "It's no bueno," Alex said. "Well put," Rina said, smiling. "No, I know what you mean," Alex said as the two sat on a small concrete planter box and talked; she continued, "I've never really dealt with death well, honestly. I've never had, like, a traumatic experience either, but for some reason I just...I've never really been good with the whole mortality thing. It really bothers me. So yeah, I get why it's even worse when it happens to a literal child." Meanwhile, Lillian was pushing her way gently through the crowd, searching all over for Maddison. When she finally spotted her, Maddie was standing alone, looking at a small corkboard that had been smothered with photos of Stephie. Lillian approached her cautiously and touched her shoulder. Maddie turned around, looked up at her, then threw her arms around Lillian's legs and squeezed her hard. "They didn't give you a candle?" Lillian asked. "They won't give them to children," Maddie whispered, sniffling, "it's okay, I didn't wanna carry one anyway." "How are you doing?" Lillian asked. "I...don't know," Maddie said, pulling away and wiping her eyes on her sleeves, her braids swinging gently behind her, "uh...it's weird, I didn't really know her, but...she shouldn't have died. That boy at my party shouldn't have died." Lillian knelt down so they were eye level, and she noticed the tears streaming down Maddison's face. "why..." Maddie muttered, "...why do people keep dying around me?" This broke Lillian's heart, and she pulled Maddie into her again, hugging her tightly, stroking her braids, telling her it was okay. That she wasn't the cause. That these things just happened. She knew none of this was likely as reassuring as she'd hoped it'd be, but it was the best she could do. *** "I'm glad we finally found some time to get together," Vera said, smiling across the table at Tyler, who smiled back as he sipped his wine. They were seated in a small, but fancy, restaurant downtown and having dinner, which Vera was opting to pay for seeing as her paygrade was better than Tyler's, a fact Tyler didn't mind. She was dressed in a nice dress, and her hair was pulled back into a bun, and Tyler was dressed in slacks and a button down shirt, his hair combed and gelled. "Yeah, I feel like I never get to just go out without it having to be work related," Tyler said. "I know," Vera said, "that's why I asked you to join me tonight, because it just...it feels nice to do something that isn't work related. I feel the same way. I feel like I work nonstop, and it's exhausting. It's nice to just go somewhere, have dinner, talk about things not related to work." "Yet here we are, discussing how much we work," Tyler said, making Vera laugh. "Well, okay, let's move away from that then. Been involved in any hobbies lately?" Vera asked, making Tyler stop and think. "Uh, I guess I've been taking up knitting," Tyler said, "My sister's having a baby, so I wanted to make her something. It's hard, I don't know how people used to knit entire rugs and coats and stuff, that shit is complicated. I can barely manage a pair of booties." "That's really sweet," Vera said, smiling widely, "what made you wanna do knitting? I mean, besides your sisters pregnancy." "I guess, like, it's quiet and slow paced? When your daily life is surrounded by parties, you want your downtime to be something chill, you know? Even if it is still related to children in some way, but that's cool, I like kids," Tyler said, the waiter setting down their entrees and the two beginning to dig in; Tyler scooped some shrimp pasta into his mouth, chewed then added, "I wanna have kids someday." "Yeah, me too," Vera said softly, blushing. *** Lillian and Maddison were walking through the crowd, Lillian having given Maddie her candle to hold because she'd asked to, and Lillian was tired of her hand cramping from it. "I was looking at the photos on that board cause I was jealous," Maddie said quietly, "she had parents who loved her. She vanished while trick or treating with her dad. They had a lot of family trip photos and all sorts of stuff like that. I don't think I have a single photo of myself with my parents." "Don't feel bad, I don't either. The only ones I have were the ones taken when I won another pageant and it was required for my mother and I to have our photo taken together," Lillian said, "sometimes it almost feels like I don't even have a past because I have virtually no photographic evidence of it." "That's so sad," Maddie said, "I want my parents to want me." As the girls approached Rina and Alex, they found Alex was napping, her head resting on Rina's shoulder. Rina nudged gently, waking Alex, who looked around before noticing Maddie holding the candle before noticing Lillian no longer had hers. "Heeey," she said, "Where's your candle?" "I gave it to Maddie," Lillian said. "That's not fair! Here, hold my candle!" Alex said, making them laugh. "How are you doing?" Rina asked as Maddie climbed up to sit with them on the concrete planter. "This is weird," she whispered, "I feel weird being here." "We can leave if you'd like," Rina said, "We can go get something to eat before I take you home. Lillian and her friend can join us, if that's okay with them," she finished, looking up at Lillian who smiled and nodded. Maddie thought for a moment and nodded in response. Together they all stood up and began to head out, before Alex stopped Lillian and looked around. "What is it?" Lillian asked. "Where do I put my candle?" Alex asked, "Aren't I supposed to add it to some shrine or something?" "Just give it to someone, they'll do it for you." "No! You might've dragged me here, but by god I'm gonna do the right thing!" Alex said. Lillian agreed to help Alex find the area to put their candles, and after taking Maddie to the area, she and Alex approached the shrine, waiting to set their candles down, while Lillian and Rina stood back, watching. Alex exhaled deeply, feeling nervous, until she felt Maddie's hand in her own, squeezing it tightly. Alex, at first taken aback at this physical contact, then quickly changed gears and smiled at it, squeezing her hand back. When they got to the front of the shrine, they both knelt and placed their candles on the small tin holders. "There we go," Alex said, "Now we've honored her." "...thank you," Maddie whispered, and Alex patted her on the head. "Thank you," she replied softly. Alex and Maddie got back up, rejoined Lillian and Rina, and the four of them headed to a fast food place to get something to eat. It had been a somewhat somber evening, and now it was time to make it a little bit better. After all, as Alex put it on the way there, they weren't dead, so they should try to have a good time. *** Tyler and Vera were walking down the street, near the riverwalk, the lights in the trees lit up overhead. The sound of the water softly lapping against the lip of the walk, the boats slowly drifting by them, Vera felt like nothing could ruin such a perfect night. Walking alongside her, Tyler looked at his shoes, kicking little pebbles on the ground into the nearby water. "I feel like my life is nothing but work," Vera said, "to the point where even my social life, with you, is work related in some way." "Well, I can quit the job, get something normal, then this wouldn't as awkward," Tyler said. "No," Vera replied, chuckling, "No, I don't want you to quit your job, Ty. I like the closeness this gives us. It keeps us entangled, in one way or another, no matter what. If anything, I'm the one who should quit. I have no real upward mobility, partially thanks to my skin color, and I need to find something long term." "We love having you there," Tyler said, "Group wouldn't be complete without you." Vera stopped and looked at Tyler, who stopped and looked back at her. The strung up lights in the trees brightened her face just a bit, and he could see her eyes shine. She looked even more beautiful than he normally thought she looked. "They say you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, that office romances never work out," Vera said. "Well then," Tyler said, approaching her, "I guess it's a good thing we don't work in an office." And he leaned in and kissed her. She didn't hesitate, if anything she embraced it, and kissed him back. The tension between them had been bubbling for ages, and they both finally felt it was an okay enough time to give into it, and neither one regretted it. Yes, this was the best date either one had had in years. *** After parting ways with Rina and Maddie, Lillian started to drive Alexis home. Alexis had her forehead resting against the passenger side window, Lillian was playing soft classical music on the radio, and it was starting to rain ever so gently. As they pulled up to a red light, Lillian looked over at Alex. "You okay?" she asked, "You're not mad that I made you come are you?" "No," Alexis said. "...no to which?" "I don't know, both, I guess," Alexis said, "Being there it just made me think about my family, about all the people who aren't here anymore, and you're right, I get it, I get why you're protective, cause a child shouldn't have to endure that much loss in that short amount of time span at their age. But she has a good support system. We didn't." "Alex, you can tell me if-" "I don't think I wanna be alive anymore," Alex whispered, "...my life is going nowhere. Look at what I do for a living. Meanwhile my brother and sister are practicing professionals and here I am, dressing up like a fucking pirate for kids parties, and it isn't even that shame that really gets to me, it's the fact that I don't feel like I deserve better. Like this is all I'm really capable of." The light changed to green and Lillian kept driving, still listening to her friend, who was now crying as she spoke. "...my parents don't expect anything out of me, and I'm in my mid twenties," Alex said, "I can go weeks at a time without contact and they don't even notice." "Where's this coming from? You were in a good mood earlier." "I was high, dude," Alex said, surprising Lillian; Alex wiped her eyes on her sleeves and nodded, "Yeah, yeah I was high. I took heroin before we went. Drugs are all that make me function remotely like a normal person anymore." "Jesus, are you-" "I'm fine," Alex said sternly, "they only drug test at mandatory get togethers, and I make sure not to do it within a certain time frame surrounding those. I'm not going to lose my job. I know it's wrong, or at least that's what society thinks, but...in the grand scheme of things, how wrong is it?" "What do you mean?" Lillian asked, turning a corner, getting closer to Alexis's apartment. "I mean, we went to a candlelit vigil for a little girl tonight. Someone brutally murdered a child. I think there's varying degrees of evil, and on that sliding scale, taking heroin isn't really all that bad. It isn't like I'm hurting anyone, and I'm not dangerous to myself, so who's the bad guy here, Lil? The guy who viciously killed a small girl in her Halloween costume, or the girl who works kids parties for a living and does heroin in her spare time?" "...probably the guy who killed a child," Lillian said. "Exactly." As they pulled up to the curb, Lillian came to a full stop and looked at Alexis. "You wanna stay over?" Alex asked quietly. "...you don't wanna be alone? I can stay if you don't wanna be alone, I don't have to work tomorrow, so," Lillian said, "If you just want a friend around-" "please," Alex whispered. "Of course." Lillian got out of the car, as did Alexis, and together they headed up the stairs into the complex. Lillian actually hadn't wanted to stay, she was looking forward to a quiet night by herself, but she figured Alex could use the companionship, and she didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone in this state of mind. So Lillian went into he apartment with her, they ordered in food, and they watched game show reruns all night, and in the morning, when Lillian woke, Alex had already gone out to get coffee and and brought her back some too. All in all, sometimes the people you work with, Lillian thought, might just be most suited to be your best friends.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
About
A young woman named Lilian Phillips, who plays a princess at birthday parties, befriends a little girl who had a child die at her own birthday party. Archives
April 2024
Categories |