Lilian was seated at the breakfast table, waiting for Miranda to finish cooking. She sipped from her coffee mug - Maddie was still asleep, but only because she had a full day ahead - until Miranda came and stopped at the table, putting a plate of bacon down before picking one up and biting into it herself. Lilian smiled, took a piece for herself and together they stayed there in silence, eating their respective bacon. Miranda ran her fingers through Lilian's hair and Lilian shut her eyes, enjoying the sensation. These early mornings where they got time to be alone were so special to her, and she wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Miranda sat down while the pancakes behind her bubbled.
"I think the thing I like the most about being in a relationship," Miranda said, "is that it allows me to cook for others more often than I normally would." "That's certainly a good reason," Lilian replied, nodding. "That and I've doubled my wardrobe considering we're about the same size," Miranda added, smirking. "You steal so much of my clothes," Lilian remarked, laughing. As Miranda and Lillian kissed a little and continued to eat, a knock came at the front door, and both looked in the direction of the door, then at one another. Lilian got up and headed to the door, wiping her hands on her pajama pants. Pulling the door open, however, left her surprised even more, because not only was it unusual to get a visitor at this time in the morning, but that visitor happened to be, of all people, Rina. "Oh!" Lilian said, happy to see her, "Hey! It's been a while." "Can I come in?...do I smell breakfast?" Rina asked. "Well, it is breakfast time," Lilian replied, "but sure, come on in. Is everything okay? Are you here to see Maddie?" "Actually no, I'm here to see you," Rina said, "...I need a job." *** Alexis had never gone to a "meeting" before. Least, not for anything outside of work. But especially not one meant to help her with her issues. Standing in the room in the hospital, eating cookies from the snack table, she scanned the room, watching for anything or anyone interesting and, much to her disappointment but not surprisingly, she saw nothing that piqued her interest. It was another hour until they had their lunch break and John would be here with their subs, but until then she would just suck it up. Course, she probably shouldn't fill up on cookies if she was planning on having lunch. "You like 'em?" a voice standing beside her suddenly asked, spooking her. "Jesus, don't sneak up on people like that," Alexis said, turning her head to see a man about her age with scruffy brown hair and wearing jeans and a long sleeved baseball tee standing beside her. "Sorry, didn't mean to give you a heart attack. Just was curious if you liked the cookies. My sister made 'em for me, but I figured I'd share with the group," he said. "How very kind of you," Alexis said, "yeah, they're good, peanut butter is the best cookie. Tell your sister she's good at baking." "Oh she knows, she owns a bakery," the man said. Alexis smirked as she picked up another cookie and bit into it. "I'm Rick," the man said, "what are you in for?" "Alexis," Alex replied, "I almost OD'd, but...not on purpose." "Fair enough," Rick said, "I did the same." "Yeah?" Alexis asked, now having her attention caught, seeing as this was someone who potentially actually understood her ordeals. "Yeah," Rick said, "yeah, uh, I was using and I...I just was sloppy. My sister found me using and having a seizure, and took me to the hospital and then said if she paid for it, I could come here to try and get better, so here I am. Been here...oof...6 months now? 7? It's hard. Especially because, personally, I don't have any interest in being sober." "Why's that?" Alex asked. "Cause why should I? The world is shit enough without having to be sober in it," Rick said, shrugging and Alex nodded. She understood that...and that scared her. She didn't want to let John down, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't miss the feeling. Miss the idea of just letting herself go and forget about all her problems for a little bit. Now, instead, she lived with her issues every single day and that was far more painful. "Well," Alexis said, "at least we have cookies." "Yeah, I'll tell my sister we'll just OD on cookies now," Rick said, the both of them chuckling. For the first time since being in the hospital, Alexis was finally starting to feel like maybe it wasn't so hopeless and empty after all. Maybe there was something special to be found here. *** "You scared?" Miranda asked as she parked the car and Maddie exhaled, nodding a little; Miranda smiled softly and kissed the side of Maddie's head, adding, "hey, if it gets to be too much, you can just come right back out here and we'll go get something for lunch, okay? You don't have to stay here. You're doing her a favor, don't forget that, you're the one with power in this situation, alright?" "Thanks," Maddie said, also smiling now, appreciative of Miranda's comfort and advice. She opened the door and climbed out of the car, heading towards the prison. Miranda watched as she approached the doors, spoke with a guard, only to be turned away. Maddie came back to the car, as Miranda rolled down her window and Maddie said, "they won't let me in without an adult." "Well we should probably go find one then," Miranda said, the both of them laughing as she climbed out of the car and took Maddie's hand, the both of them heading back to the prison doors, only to be let in this time. Once inside, they immediately felt uncomfortable. It was a perfect temperature inside the building, and the facility was clean as clean could be, but just knowing people were living their entire lives here...it unnerved them both. Miranda had only been to a prison once, to see an uncle for Christmas one year, and after that she refused to ever go back. But she couldn't let Maddie go through with this alone. After a bit of walk, they finally reached the visitation spaces. Miranda seated herself on a small couch a ways away to give Maddie privacy, and Maddie sat down on one side of the glass that separated herself from her mother. Jessie smiled seeing her daughter, but Maddie didn't smile back. "You look good," Jessie said, "I'm so glad we finally get to see eachother." "...I only came cause I wanted to tell you something I didn't get to the night they arrested you," Maddie said, and Jessie's eyebrows raised and in suspense. Maddie cleared her throat and exhaled, as she added, "you deserved this. You're a bad person." "There's a lot you don't know about," Jessie said, "about marriage in particular, and...and how difficult it is to get out of marriage in a way that benefits you. Men have all the power, I would've lost-" "Shut up mom," Maddie said, surprising not only herself but also Miranda and Jessie as she continued with, "nothing is worth killing someone for, unless maybe they're trying to kill you first. You hurt dad so bad he's still trying to recover. You ruined my whole childhood. I am so mad at myself that I believed you for so long and let you continue to hurt dad and-" "I actually needed to speak to you because I need you to ask your father to come see me," Jessie said, interrupting, "there's things he and I have to discuss, and I know he won't come if I just ask, but he will if you do." "So even now you're just using me? You didn't care to see me at all?" Maddie asked, on the verge of tears, "...you're a bad mom." Jessie sighed and nodded. She knew she was a bad mom. Truth be told, she'd never wanted to be a mom in the first place, but she'd never tell Maddie that at least. She looked down at her hands before looking back up at Maddie and their eyes locked. "I'm sorry," Jessie whispered and Maddie shook her head in disgust. "I'll ask dad to come," she said, "but I never want to speak to you again. This is where you belong. Where you can't hurt anyone else while pretending to love them." With that, Maddie pulled away from the glass pane and stood back up, heading back to Miranda. Jessie watched as this unknown woman took her daughter by the hand and walked out of the prison with her. And the worst part was...she couldn't even defend or justify her actions reliably, nor defend the truths her own daughter has just dropped on her. She was, in fact, a bad mom. A bad person. She did deserve to be in here. But if only Maddie knew. If only Maddie knew the truth. Would it help? Probably not. But context is important. *** Lilian and Rina were seated in the living room, eating from a big bowl of chips as Lilian, pad in hand, asked Rina questions. Rina posted her legs up on the coffee table and sighed, shrugging as Lilian asked again. "You really don't have any affinity towards any particular caricature?" she asked, and Rina shook her head. "Not really," she said, "I mean, what've you got already? A clown, a princess, a pirate, a mermaid and a cowboy? What mythological figure is left?" "Okay first of all, cowboys aren't mythological figures," Lilian said, the both of them laughing as she continued, saying, "and second, more importantly, it doesn't have to be something amazing or unique. Hell, I'm a princess. I'm the most cliche choice imaginable! You never had a, like, fairytale character that you identified with?" Rina thought, chewing on her lip. When she was a little girl, she had read a TON, and a lot of those stories were, admittedly, fantasy based. Yet, she felt weird choosing something like an elf, that just seemed so boring and ordinary and overdone. Then, Rina sat upright and grinned wide as she looked at Lilian, who cocked her head in suspense, waiting to see what Rina had thought of. "A witch," Rina said, and Lilian raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she asked, "a witch? Well, that's definitely not one we have yet, that's for sure. We actually don't have any kind of horror based characters, so you're in uncharted territory with this one. That's pretty cool." "You don't think it'd scare kids?" Rina asked. "Nah, adults forget that, as kids, we loved being scared. Spooky shit was taboo and a lot of fun," Lilian said, "obviously I can't speak for all kids, some are just out and out scaredy cats, but whatever. You'll find an audience. Now, you'll need a costume, so we can go to the nice costume place downtown in the next few days and I'll call Vera about getting you on payroll." Lilian finally put the pad and pen down and looked at Rina. "What made you wanna do this?" Lilian asked, "I'm just curious." "...well...it all comes down to the fact that I need extra money, and I already know you guys. But...I don't know, I've just been trying desperately, and failing, at finding something to do that isn't just babysitting. This seems like a cooler form of babysitting. Plus you all seem like really good friends, and...I could use some friends, frankly," Rina said, looking down at her hands in her lap, admiring her nails. "Hey, whatever the reason is, we can make it work," Lilian replied, "everyone is welcome here. That's obvious." Rina and Lilian looked at one another and smiled. They'd only met a handful of times, admittedly, but they'd always gotten along, and it seemed now like Rina was reaching out for companionship, and Lilian was more than in a stable place to provide it for her. Hell, Maddie was already entrenched in her life, why not her former babysitter as well? For the next little bit, Rina and Lilian went over potential costume ideas, ranging from classic Halloween art witches to gothic witches to stereotypical green witches to anything and everything they could think of, all the while laughing and having a good time. The irony of Rina's choice couldn't be dismissed, however. In far too many fairytales that Lilian had read growing up, witches were the ones more often than not to curse princesses in one form or another. So the fact that a witch and a princess would be willingly working together, being close friends, it was sort of beautiful to break that preconceived notion of what two fictional archetypes might usually be like when paired up. And if Lilian was all about anything these days, it was about breaking through societies perceived barriers of identity. *** Alexis and Rick were walking through the garden, heading to the cafeteria after the meeting. Alexis hated how much she already enjoyed his company, because she hated admitting to herself that she enjoyed anyones company outside of Lilian and John, but Rick had a self assured sense of sureness about himself that she couldn't help but find admirable, especially because she herself felt so uncertain about who she was most of the time. "I worked with her for a little while, at the bakery," Rick said, "but eventually the load became too much to handle and, if we're being honest, I'm not a baker by any means. I can't do math to save my life, and baking is all about measurements." "Then what do you do if you don't bake for a living?" Alex asked. "I'm a magician," Rick said, "for parties and stuff, nothing serious. But it's enjoyable, and I'm good at it and I make good money." "That's so cool," Alex replied, "I always liked magic." As she looked away momentarily, thinking she'd spotted John, Rick pulled a handful of flowers off a nearby bush and presented them to her, which made her laugh. "You didn't make those spontaneously appear," she said, "you just stole them." "And you say that like crime isn't magical," Rick replied, the both of them laughing as he handed them to her, and she graciously accepted, smelling them. That was the moment it hit her. She'd never once smelt a flower, let alone a flower given to her by someone...let alone been given flowers by someone. No, she knew what this feeling was, and that scared her. But she'd always had a type, and Rick definitely fit that. She blushed a little and looked away, which made him laugh all the more. "Are you just gonna go back to magic once you're out of here?" Alexis asked as they continued walking and he shrugged. "Eh, probably, but like I said, it's not really my lifelong career. Not sure what it is I'd like to really do, but magic ain't it," Rick said, "though it does make me pretty popular with the ladies." "Wow, a magician who knows women? You're a real rarity in your field," Alexis remarked, making him smirk. "Well, I know you don't I? And look at how well we've gotten along just in the short time we've been talking. You could almost say I've made your insecurities..." Rick said, waving his hands in front of her, "...disappear." "Wow, you're a DORK," Alexis said, the both of them cackling. Rick's watched suddenly beeped, and he sighed. "I gotta go, I have a one on one therapy appointment, but if you're not busy later, and let's face it who in rehab is, come seek me out, I'll teach you some card tricks," Rick said, and Alexis nodded meekly. As she watched him walk off, she hated herself for acting so stereotypically girly. She'd never been like this before, not even with other guys she'd liked, but here she was, playing the role of the weak willed femme easily wiled by a handsome mans hand tricks. She heard footsteps approach and the sound of a paper bag rustling, and turned to see John coming up to her. "Where'd you get flowers from?" John asked. "From over there," she said, pointing back to where Rick had taken them. "I brought lunch," John said, holding up the bag. "Thank god, all I've eaten were cookies," Alex said as they started to head in the direction of the cafeteria again. "God, you're like a child," John replied. *** Maddie's father Brian was laying in his bed, reading a book. His home hospice nurse opened the door, came in, set down a tray with some snacks and water and then left as the phone began to ring. He picked up the glass and took a long sip before noticing she was returning, handing the phone to him. He furrowed his brow, confused as to who would be calling him. It wasn't like his married life had allowed him any friends. He took the phone and put it to his face, speaking weakly. "Hello?" "Daddy, it's me," Maddie said, and his face lit up. "Hi sweetheart! How are you?" he asked. "I'm...okay," Maddie said, "um...mommy wants you to meet with her." And whatever joy he'd just been given he lost just as quickly.
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A young woman named Lilian Phillips, who plays a princess at birthday parties, befriends a little girl who had a child die at her own birthday party. Archives
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