"I can't remember the last time I even went on a date," Lilian said, standing in her bathroom, applying makeup while she talked on the phone to Alexis; she continued, "and I mean, like, an honest to god actual date. Not one of those random hookups I did at parties sometimes with someones uncle or something. I mean like a real date with someone I genuinely like."
"Well," Alex replied, "at least you'll be able to fall back on the excuse of being rusty. Besides, it's not like you have to impress her. She's already smitten with you." "...are you eating?" Lilian asked. "I'm lying on the couch eating an entire gallon of Cookies and Cream ice cream," Alexis said, "why?" "Did you even try and eat dinner?" "This IS dinner, thank you," Alexis replied, making Lilian chuckle. Lilian put her makeup away and headed back into her bedroom to get dressed. At the moment she was just wearing her underwear, so she started rooting around in her closet to find something both suitable and comfortable. She wanted to look good, but she didn't want to sacrifice sensibility for fashions sake. Lilian sighed and sat on the end of her bed, staring at her closet and shaking her head. "I hate my closet," she said. "Why? Something live in it?" Alexis asked. "I mean I hate my wardrobe, like, what I have to wear," Lilian said, "I really am in the need of new clothes. I've had these same outfits for the last decade. I haven't bought anything new in ages. I think being in beauty pageants really ruined any interest I might've had in looking good." Suddenly, a knock at the door, and Lilian's eyes widened. "Shit! She's early!" she said, "I have to go!" She hung up the phone and quickly grabbed a pair of tight jeans and a crop top with a small jacket to go over it from her closet, then threw it all on. Another knock at the door, and Lilian ran into her bathroom again, grabbed her hairbrush and then rushed back into the living room, brushing her hair as she answered the door. Miranda was standing there, in a long black floral print dress and a big sunhat. She smiled at Lilian, who stood aside to let her into her apartment. "Sorry, I was in the bathroom," Lilian said, continuing to brush her hair as Miranda entered. "Nice place," Miranda said, turning around in the room before landing their sights back on Lilian herself, and adding, "you don't look too bad yourself." "Hah! Well, thanks so much for the backhanded compliment," Lilian said, stepping forward and putting their hands on Miranda's hips before leaning up and kissing them. After it broke, Miranda said she had made some plans for them, and they should get going. Lilian agreed, and together they exited the apartment for the night, but Lilian already knew she would be bringing Miranda back home later. *** "You guys gotta find a way to co-exist, man," John said, sitting in the diner with Tyler, as they both ate; John took a sip of his coffee and added after a sigh, "like, if you guys can't be friends, you sure as hell can't be co-owners of a business or even co-workers for that matter. This isn't the same as a typical business, you know? This is something you all actively decided to build together, so you HAVE to find a way to get along." "It's not me," Tyler said, sipping his soup from his spoon, "I love everyone who works with us. It's Vera. Vera and Alexis specifically. You saw it at the park, it's rough. And we're all worried for Alex, honestly. She's got a lot of problems, and we're all very concerned one day she's going to do something she can't undo." "That's her decision then," John said, shrugging, "I mean, it's noble to worry, but in the end, she's going to do what she's going to do." Just then they noticed Rina and Maddie standing by the table. Tyler raised an eyebrow, confused by their sudden appearance, while John merely continued drinking his coffee and then put his cigarette out. "What are you doing here?" Tyler asked. "She wanted to see Lilian, but she doesn't appear to be here," Rina said, pushing her way into the booth, sitting next to Tyler as Maddie sat beside John; Rina added, after taking a spoon and having some of Tyler's soup, "she says it's very important and she needs help." "What could be so important that you'd come find us at this time of night?" Tyler asked. "...I think my mom is killing my dad," Maddie said, "the other day, I tried to drink something she'd made for him, and he told me it was poisoned, and that's why he wasn't eating or drinking anything she was making for him. He hasn't been getting better, probably because she's poisoning him and because he's too scared to eat or drink anything she makes. I don't know what to do or who to talk to about it though." "...that's...that's a LOT," Tyler said, "oof, jeez. Do you have any proof outside of your dads words?" "No," Maddie said, shaking her head slowly, "that's what stinks. I don't have any real proof. I wanted to talk to Lilian." "Well, she's not here," Tyler said, "Sorry. But I could call and leave her a message." Tyler scooted past Rina, who followed him as she wanted to leave something on the message as well, so Lilian would take it more seriously. Maddie looked at John, then sighed and looked down at her hands in her lap. "What if it's not true? What if she's not, and he's just saying that to make me hate her? They've fought so much..." "Well," John said, "parents will do that, sure, but that doesn't make it right. Either way, the fact that you're worrying about it being fake instead of taking it at face value proves how intelligent you are for your age, because a lot of kids would just believe anything their folks tell them. But you've known them to be liars, fighters, and you're not going to just believe something because someone said it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't take it seriously, because it very well COULD be true, but still." "...why are they doing this to eachother? To me? I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't ask for them to be my parents," Maddie said, sounding as though she were on the verge of tears. John sighed and took a long sip from his coffee, then patted her on the shoulder and pulled her into his side, wherein she started crying against him. "It's okay kiddo," he said, "you just cry, it's okay to cry. This is too heavy for someone your age to deal with, but you're very strong for dealing with it and I'm proud of you." Watching from afar as Rina left her half of the message, Tyler couldn't help but be somewhat in awe of Johns sweet nature. He came off as so gruff, with an anger just below the surface, and yet here he was, being tender and comforting to a little girl. He was surprised by his ability to talk to kids. That was what everyone was missing, he thought. Anyone could perform at a kids party, but that doesn't mean just anyone could relate to a kid. *** "This place is beautiful," Lilian said, as she sat in an old vintage metal chair on a balcony of a small restaurant, overlooking the cityscape; she looked across the table at Miranda, who smiled at her as she drank from her glass of wine. "It is, it's one of my favorite places," Miranda said, "it helps to get above everything and look down on it. That way, I've found, it doesn't seem so overwhelming. If you can pull yourself far enough away from something, I've found, then it helps make it look less intimidating. It's like being in an airplane, you know? Looking down on the world, like they're just ants." "...you look so good," Lilian said, blushing, "Sorry, that...that might've been weird to say." "No, I appreciate it! I put a lot of effort into this," Miranda said, chuckling, "I'm glad you think so! I don't think I've ever seen you with makeup on." "I wear makeup to every party I work!" Lilian said. "Really? Wow. Well, maybe I just didn't notice. Now that I'm, ya know, looking only at you, it's easier to spot I guess. I never noticed how long your eyelashes are either," Miranda said, "unless they're extensions. I don't know what to believe, considering you used to do beauty pageants." "Everything about me is fake, it's true," Lilian said, the both of them laughing as she continued, "it's nice to be here with you. It's about time we did something like this, you know, something just the two of us. Something...nice. We've both been working so much, it's exhausting. I kinda want a vacation." "If we both take our vacation at the same time, we could go somewhere together," Miranda said, "unless that's, ya know, moving too fast or whatever." "Girl, I don't think there's even such a thing as moving too fast at this point in my life," Lilian said, as Miranda continued drinking her wine and the waiters brought their respective meals, setting the plates down on the table in front of them. Lilian didn't usually get to go out and do things just for herself, just for fun, and this was definitely a much needed reprieve from the typical night. She felt bad, thinking about Alexis being by herself all night, but that was how she wanted to spend her time. She shouldn't be judged for it, just like she shouldn't be judged for being out with Miranda, and how Miranda shouldn't be judged for who she was. Lilian might've been brought up in a community surrounded by judgement, but she made a concerted effort to prove she was anything but judgemental. *** "What if turns out to be true?" Maddie asked, wiping her eyes on her striped sweater sleeve, "what...what if...what if she does kill him because I don't do anything? Or what if it's all fake and then I don't know who to trust anymore? Which would be worse?" "Parents who pit their children against one another shouldn't have children in the first place," John said, "is there anything you can think of that might make you think your father might be telling the truth? Do you have a parent you think is more reliable and trustworthy?" Maddie thought for a minute. Neither of her parents had ever really been there for her much beyond doing what was expected of them. Doing their parental duties; attending school meetings, feeding and housing her, partaking in holiday events, those sorts of things that are inescapable by society standards. Maddie tried to think about something her parents had actively done with her, any sort of activity they'd participated in together willingly...but she drew blanks. She looked at John and shook her head. "...neither," she whispered, "they're both bad." John sighed, finish his coffee and then took a bite of the sandwich he'd ordered before leaning back in the booth, then turning to face Maddie, folding his legs on the booth. She quickly turned and faced him in the same manner. "When I was in my mid twenties, I met a woman. Her name was Lauren, and she was....she was just the best, you know? Just...the kind of person that, once you meet, it seems like you've known one another forever," he said. "Kinda like Lilian and me," Maddie said. "Sure," John said, smiling, "anyway, Lauren and I got serious, and we talked about having kids. In the end, we decided it was best not to, because we knew neither one of us was capable of dealing with what that lifestyle change brought. I'm proud of making such a decision for the sake of an unborn child, instead of just rushing in headfirst and bringing a kid into the world that I then couldn't take care of. That wouldn't be fair to me, but more importantly, it wouldn't be fair to them. Sometimes parents have kids because it's what's expected of, or because they really believe they're in love and it's what they want. Do you think your parents could really hurt one another, or you?" Maddie chewed on her lip, and after a long moment, she shook her head. "No," she said, "I don't think so. But I can't shake the question of what if I'm wrong?" "Then you're wrong. But it's on them, sweetheart, not you," John said, "remember, no matter what they try and make you think or feel, you are a kid, and their lack of functioning is not your fault. You are not responsible for their happiness." Rina and Tyler finally walked back to the table and Rina tapped Maddie on the shoulder, making her look back at Rina. "We should get home," she said, "Your mom will be home from work anytime now." Maddie nodded, and climbed out of the booth, waving goodbye to Tyler and John, then taking Rina's hand and, together, exiting the diner. Tyler slid back into the booth and continued eating his soup, which was somewhat cold now. After a minute, John lit up a new cigarette, and Tyler looked up from his bowl at him. "You really have a way of dealing with kids," Tyler said, "so what happened to Lauren? You guys break up or?" "Naw, we got married, had a kid," John said, surprising Tyler. "But...but you just said-" "I know what I said," John replied, interrupting Tyler, "but that's not the point. That truth is my truth. The lie is healthier for her to live with than what actually happened." "...what...what did actually happen?" Tyler asked cautiously. "Doesn't matter. Sometimes people just go away," John said, "Hey, can I get some more coffee over here please?" *** Standing in the hallway, Lilian trying to unlock her apartment door as Miranda stood behind her, she couldn't shake the giddiness from her gut. After she finally heard the lock click and the door swung open, Lilian turned to face Miranda and exhaled slowly. "I guess we should do this again," Miranda said, "whenever you're available, just let me know." "You should really come inside," Lilian said, surprising Miranda. "...uh, that's a little forward," she said, laughing. "I know, I know that, and I should apologize for it but...okay look, I'm gonna level with you...for the past few years, the only people I've slept with have been weirdos and creeps I meet at the parties I work. Guys who ask me to keep the crown on, because it makes them feel like they're...well, I don't have to explain to you the implications. They're perverts, plain and simple. Sex has been so empty and meaningless for so long that I don't even remember what it's like to have it with someone you genuinely are attracted to." "This is really up front," Miranda said, laughing, "I appreciate your bluntness." "I know it's weird, and I know we've only known one another a while, and we've only gone out a few times seriously, but...I really like you. I like you in a way that I don't know that I've ever liked anyone, and that's scary to me, but it's also exhilarating. I spent so much of my life trying to please others with my beauty that I forgot I was allowed to find someone beautiful too, and you're so beautiful, and...god, please come in." "First of all," Miranda said, chuckling as she looked at her feet and blushed, "I'd like you to know this is the most awkward and pathetic anyone has ever been to get into my pants, and secondly, I'd like you to know just how well it's working." Lilian laughed, finally feeling the tension break, as she took Miranda's hand and slowly brought her into the apartment. The door shut behind them, and they didn't even bother turning the lights on. She dragged Miranda to her bedroom and pushed her on the bed, climbing on top of her and kissing her as much as she could everywhere she could. Miranda couldn't help but feel a little flattered, as she'd never experienced this level of adoration from anyone romantically. Miranda reached up and ran her hands through Lilian's hair as she fell on her back, Lilian fully on top of her. "I can understand why you were in beauty pageants," Miranda said quietly, "but the beauty I see isn't the same beauty they saw." "God you're such a sap," Lilian replied, both of them giggling nervously, until Lilian, her eyes watering with tears, quietly whispered, "I think I'm in love with you." "I think I'm okay with that," Miranda remarked, kissing her back. Come the following morning, when Lilian woke up next to Miranda, she couldn't believe what she'd done. She'd actually done something for herself for a change, and she didn't even feel all that selfish about it. But, even moreso than that, she couldn't help but appreciate the fact that, for the first time in years, she was in a bed with someone she actually wanted to be in bed with, and not just because she wanted some kind of release. Lilian pulled herself up to Miranda's side, and felt Miranda wrap her arms around her, and together they fell back asleep until the early afternoon. Sometimes the hero a princess gets is never the one she expected.
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A young woman named Lilian Phillips, who plays a princess at birthday parties, befriends a little girl who had a child die at her own birthday party. Archives
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