Maddie had never seen an ambulance up close before.
But that day, the day of her party...well, needless to say she'd never expected the first time she'd see one up close would be at her own birthday party. She watched as they wheeled the boy out through the backyard gate and into the ambulance, and then watched as they sped away, sirens blaring. That night, her parents doted on her more than usual, making sure she was actually okay, and while she appreciated it, she also secretly wished their involvement in her personal well being hadn't had to come at such a heavy price. And now there was an ambulance outside her house again, less than just a few months after the first time. *** "I haven't slept in 24 hours," Lillian said, rubbing her eyes as she sat in the front seat of Tyler's car while he drove, Alexis in the backseat; Lillian added, "I swear, this has been the most emotionally exhausting year of my life." "And it hasn't even been a full year," Tyler replied. "I don't wanna give up my character," Alexis muttered from the backseat, her arms folded like a ten year old having a temper tantrum, "I put a lot of time and effort into figuring out this character, who they are, what their personality is...I created them. They're not a template, they're a full fledged person with a history and a future." "I know how you feel," Lillian said, "My character is far more than just a dress and a crown. More than just an idea. She's a part of who I am. The last thing I wanna do is give up a part of myself...not again." As they pulled up to a red light, the car coming to a crawl right beside Rina's, Lillian rolled down her window and motion for her to do the same, which she did. Lillian then leaned out the window a bit, as did Rina. "I need you to tell me something right now, before we even get there...is Maddie herself okay or am I walking into something that's going to decimate me?" Lillian asked, "I need to know so I can decide whether or not to extend my therapy sessions indefinitely." "All I know is Maddie called me, she was crying, and she said an ambulance was at her house," Rina said, "She wouldn't say any more than that, and then she hung up. I just knew I couldn't face whatever it was alone. She needs the full support of her friends, not just her babysitter." Lillian nodded, understanding. The light turned green and each car began to roll ahead once again. Lillian rolled her window back up and leaned back into her chair, chewing on her thumbnail. She started to think about her mother, and the support she had doing pageants, until she no longer wanted to. Then her mother began to question her decisions, even berate her at times for a while, but eventually she came around and let Lillian back out of the spotlight. But Lillian knew how much that screwed her up, and she knew Maddie didn't deserve that. She wanted to be there for her. She wanted to be the mom she didn't have. This revelation made Lillian smile. *** When the gang finally arrived at the house, only Maddie was still there. Her mother had called Rina to babysit right after Maddie had called her, saying it was an emergency, and that was when Rina decided to go get the rest of them. Rina opened the front door, and the four of them walked inside, but Maddie was nowhere to be found. "Nice digs," Tyler said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I grew up in a shack compared to this," Alexis said. Lillian immediately headed down the hall, leaving Rina to read the little letter Maddie's mother had left for her. She reached Maddie's room, but she wasn't in there. Then she heard something shifting from a nearby room, and as she pushed the door to the laundry room open gently with her fingertips, she saw a cardboard box made up to look like a spaceship. Lillian smiled, entered the room, and quietly shut the door behind her. She got onto her knees and knocked on the front of the cardboard box until the flaps opened suddenly, revealing Maddie, wearing what looked like a mock space helmet. "...you're here?" she asked. "Rina came to-" Maddie threw her arms around Lillian and squeezed. "It's okay, you're okay now," Lillian replied, gently hugging the small girl, "it's okay Maddie, I'm here, we're all here. Do you wanna tell me what happened?" "...my dad...fell over," Maddie said, her voice cracked and wavy, "I don't know what happened. He and my mom were arguing and then he just...he just collapsed onto the table and then onto the floor. I don't understand, but I'm scared." "I understand," Lillian said, "I like your box." "It's a spaceship," Maddie said, wiping the tears from her eyes, "A lot of times, when I'm scared, I go inside and I pretend I'm flying away into outer space, and that I'm an astronaut in search of a better world. I did all the drawing on it myself." "It looks great," Lillian said, "You know...when I was your age, after I stopped doing beauty pageants, I used to hide in my closet and pretend it was a dungeon. I was a princess locked away for crimes against the queen. Big surprise that I wound up playing a princess later in life, isn't it?" Both girls sat in silence, neither one even barely breathing, until Maddie finally mumbled. "I can't live with them anymore," she said softly, "...they're not bad people, but they are bad parents." Lillian's heart broke a little more by hearing that, probably because she herself completely understood the sentiment. *** Vera was sitting at her desk when her door flung open and Lillian stormed inside, Alexis right behind her, looking afraid. Vera looked up, put her pen down and sighed. "I figured you'd turn up sooner or later," she said. "How could you let this happen?" Lillian asked, "We trusted you to protect us, and now-" "You think I'm happy about this? I did everything I could to push against it, but in the end my opinion doesn't mean shit compared to a company bleeding money. We're products, plain and simple, and what does a company do when faced with potential bankruptcy? They liquidate their assets, IE, us." "I'm not exactly against being under new management," Lillian said. "I am," Alexis said, raising her hand, "She...she doesn't speak for me." "But I AM against the idea of having our characters taken from us," Lillian finished, "We are not just people in costumes. These characters represent facets of our personality and they can't just take them away. They're our characters, not theirs." "They're not even characters, Lil! They're templates! You're a template!" Vera said, standing up now, "I know it sucks, I know, and believe me, I am still fighting tooth and nail to maybe undo some of the damage done here, but in the end I only have so much power!" "...but you didn't," Alexis said quietly, catching Vera's attention now, as she continued, "I mean, you might say you did, and you might have done a little complaining, but look at the difference. You work for them, plain and simple. You're their employee, so you have to do whatever they say, even if you disagree or have complaints. In the end, you're not one of us, you're one of them, so you wouldn't know how much it hurts to have something so close to you ripped away from you...something you spent so much time on, something that means so much to you. Because you're not portraying an employee, you actually are an employee, and that's the irony...we're the ones playing pretend and yet we're far less fake than you'll ever be." Alex turned and stomped out of the room, leaving Lillian behind. Lillian sighed, rubbed her face and looked at Vera. "Don't...don't pay any mind to her," she said, "I'll talk to her. Just as she said, her views don't represent me. But if this is going to happen, I think we're going to leave and...and maybe start our own company. Retain our characters, maybe even broaden the scope of our job. Come with us, Vera. We could use your financial expertise." Vera smirked and folded her arms, looking at her shoes. "I'll think about it. That's a pretty gutsy move for a group of people with unstable lives, I admit," Vera said, "Be kinda fun to be along for that ride." "Well, I never said we were great at making decisions," Lillian said, the both of them chuckling. After a few minutes, when Lillian exited the room, she found Alexis was no longer nearby. She sighed, headed to the parking lot and drove home. Meanwhile, Alexis had also made her way back home. She shut off all her lights when she got inside, locked the door and sat down on her couch. She pulled a small box out from under her coffee table and she opened it, pulling out her coke and plopping the small baggie on the table. She leaned back into her couch and looked up at the ceiling, wanting to cry. After a few minutes, she exhaled, leaned forward and started making lines when there was suddenly a knock at her door. She groaned, stood up, pulled a magazine over the stuff on her table and headed to answer the door. As she pulled it open, she was surprised to find Lillian there. "Why did you vanish?" Lillian asked. "Cause, why not, nothing matters, nothing's going to change," Alex muttered. "That's where you're wrong," Lillian said, "...how would you like to be co-owner of a business venture?" Alexis was intrigued, to say the least. 5 MONTHS LATER Lillian pulled up to the parking lot and slowly put her car into her spot, sighing. She looked over at the passenger seat, where Maddie was seated. She'd picked her up from school, since she'd been spending a lot of time alone lately. "You just gonna do your homework while we have this meeting?" Lillian asked, and Maddie nodded. "I might need some help," she said. "Tyler should be here, he'll be able to help you," Lillian said, just as someone else pulled into the parking lot right beside her, rock music blaring from the speakers. Lillian smiled, knowing it was Alex. Alexis turned her car off, got out and knocked on the window, which Lillian happily rolled down and asked, "Wow, you've never been on time before, this is a nice change of pace." "What can I say, it's easier to care about something when you have an actual personal stake in it," Alex said, before cocking her head, smiling and wiggling her fingers, saying, "Hi Maddie." "Hi Alexis!" "Tyler's already here," Lillian said, "I saw his car, so." "Cool," Alexis said. Lillian and Maddie got out of the car and headed through the parking lot, towards the building, just as a scooter pulled into the lot nearby and Rina parked. She climbed off, pulled her helmet off and shook her hair out before racing over to join them. The four girls continued walking towards the building together now. "This is so surreal," Alexis said. "It really is," Lillian said, "But it feels right." The door opened and Vera leaned out of the door. "Hurry up!" she shouted, "We need to get started!" As they all rushed inside, Vera stopped Maddie and knelt down to be eye level with her. "Lillian's got a surprise for you, you wanna see it?" she asked, and Maddie nodded eagerly. Maddie took Lillian's hand and the two walked down the hallway. Lillian had been worried that it wouldn't come out well, or that she wouldn't like it, but now that the moment was here, she was just excited to see Maddie's reaction. As they reached a door, Lillian pulled it open and saw Maddie jump up and down, screaming as she raced inside the room. Inside was a plastic playset, designed to look like a rocket ship. Maddie rushed right up to it and started looking at it from every angle. "This is so cool!" she shouted. "I figured you'd like it," Lillian said, "I had it built specifically for you, so you'd have somewhere comforting to go to when things get bad or you just don't wanna be at home." "You did this for me? It's all mine?" Maddie asked, turning to Lillian, her eyes wide. "It's all for you. When we were designing the offices, I requested this be done. There was an extra room, and we already had the party room planned out, so we didn't know what to do with the space and we didn't want it to just be storage. I came up with the idea because I remembered your box at home." Maddie hugged Lillian around the waist tightly, and Lillian stroked her hair. "Thank you," Maddie whispered. "Everyone deserves a place of their own," Lillian said, "So you're welcome. Now go sit in it and do your homework. I'll be in the meeting if you need anything." Lillian exited the room while Maddie settled into her rocket ship cockpit. Lillian leaned against the wall and sighed, shutting her eyes, only opening them when she heard someone walking up to her, and she opened her eyes to see Josh walking up to her. Their hair had grown even longer, and their nails were painted. They were wearing jeans and a feminine button down shirt. Lillian smiled upon seeing them. "I'm glad you're here," she said. "I'm glad I was able to come," Josh said, "I had work, so." "We're about to start the meeting," Lillian said, and she took their hand and led them down the hall to the meeting room. The group had come together to pool their wages, their savings, and a small loan, in order to sublet this small building and start their own company, just as Lillian had suggested. Lillian, Vera, Tyler and Alexis were all co-owners, and they each got to remain the characters they had always had. Meanwhile, Maddie was in her cockpit of her spaceship, getting her homework ready on her lap. She looked at all the realistic instruments on the panel and all the blinking lights. She shut the door to the ship, and when she did, she noticed projections began on the window that mimicked flying through space. Maddie grinned widely, and she pulled her space helmet out of her backpack, putting it over her head. The vastness of space, a universe full of potential, was ahead of her. And she couldn't wait to see where it led.
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A young woman named Lilian Phillips, who plays a princess at birthday parties, befriends a little girl who had a child die at her own birthday party. Archives
April 2024
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