"What happened to Goldielocks?" Zoe asked, tapping gently on the glass of the fishbowl as her fish floated belly up near the top. Thea sighed and pulled her little sister away from the bowl as she pulled up her shirt sleeve and reached in to grab the fish.
"He's dead, sweetie," she said. "What's that mean?" Zoe asked. "It means he isn't alive anymore, and he's gone to Fishy Heaven," Thea replied, as she walked Goldielocks over to the sink and put him in an old piece of tupperware. Zoe watched intently as her sister lovingly carried the tupperware out to the backyard and grabbed a spade, kneeling down and digging a small hole in the dirt. Zoe leaned down beside her as she continued, saying, "that's what happens when things die, they no longer exist among us and they go away." "Am I going to die?" Zoe asked. "Not for a very very very long time," Thea said, rubbing Zoe's back and handing her the tupperware, "You wanna put Goldielocks in his grave?" Zoe nodded and carefully placed the tupperware into the hole Thea had dug. As she watched Thea cover it back up with dirt, Zoe wanted to cry, but she didn't understand what it was exactly she was crying about. She'd never been this close to death before, she didn't really understand what she was dealing with, and yet it made her immeasurably sad inside. Thea kissed her sisters head and patted her back. "I'm sure Goldielocks appreciated all the love you gave him, that we both gave him, and I'm sure he's okay wherever he is now," Thea said, "Come on, let's finish making you lunch for school." Zoe never expected to be that near death again, but she was, repeatedly. First she had to witness her hero get nearly mauled to death by her own tiger, and now here she was, sitting on the couch in said heroes suite, staring at the drug dealer she'd just killed. Zoe couldn't believe this, she once again felt sick. Allie paced back and forth, finally putting an old unwanted sheet over Sunny's body to cover him up, and then stopped and looked at Zoe. "You okay?" Allie asked, "He was going to try and get you interested in drugs, I...I couldn't let him do to you what he did to me." "Did it ever occur to you that maybe you were just more weak willed than I am and I would've been able to say no?" Zoe asked. "...I...I wouldn't trust him to take that no seriously," Allie said, "he was pushy, he was arrogant. He wasn't a total outright jerk, but...but he could make a person wanna do something, and I was...I was just trying to protect you, Zoe. Now there's blood all over my floor and I don't know how to clean this sort of thing up." Allie looked at Zoe, who at that moment keeled over and vomited on the floor in front of her. "...or that," Allie said. "Sorry," Zoe said, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. *** While Allie spent the day in her suite trying to come up with a way to get rid of Sunny's body, she suggested Zoe go down to the bar and relax, play some slots or get some food. She even gave Zoe her Casino Card, so she could charge it all to her. So Zoe put on her jacket and headed down to the main casino floor. As she stood at the bar, waiting for her soda, she felt a hand clasp her shoulder. "Hey there!" Effie said, coming around her side and seating herself, "You okay? You don't look too good." "Stayed up too late, threw up a few minutes ago, just a sick sort of day I guess," Zoe said, making Effie smile. "I'm sorry," Effie replied, rubbing Zoe's arm, "Well, if you need anything, just let me know." "Allie's already given me her card for the casino so I can get whatever I want or need," Zoe said, "I'll probably have something to eat and then just go back to bed." "That's pretty nice of her," Effie said as she pulled her metal cigarette case from inside her jacket and slid one out, lighting it and popping it in her mouth, "but I'm sure once the new casino gets going, you'll get your own card, if you're gonna be a major part of her act. Things seem to have been going fairly well for you guys lately, show wise, so I'm sure Tony is planning to swap y'all over to the second location." "...second...second location?" Zoe asked as her drink was finally placed in front of her; she adjusted the straw and took a few sips as Effie nodded and explained. "Yeah, Tony told me about a week ago that he's planning on opening a new casino," she said, "A second Card Shark, over in the classier area of the Vegas strip." "There's a classier area of Vegas?" Zoe asked, making Effie laugh out loud. "That was my reaction!" she said loudly, "Anyway, since you guys are doing so well, I'm sure that you'll be brought along to the nicer one. I know I've already secured my spot, so you guys should be a shoe in. He just is having an architect make up some plans for him first, because he wasn't a huge fan of the way this one was designed." Zoe's brain was running a mile a minute. "Who is this new architect?" she asked, and Effie shrugged. "Don't know their name, just know it's the same person who did Ceaser's Ghost," Effie replied. And like a bullet, Zoe was gone. *** Zoe and Allie were seated in Allie's car, across the street from a very small but nice looking home in a quiet and clean neighborhood just outside the strip. Allie sipped her coffee and looked at Zoe, who was elbow deep into a bag of chips, shoveling them into her mouth with a kind of reckless abandon. "How do you just...become friends with someone?" Allie asked, "Isn't it going to be weird, that we just showed up and wanted to know her?" "You became friends with me," Zoe said through a mouthful of chips. "Only because friendship was thrusted upon me," Allie replied, chuckling, "but yes, I suppose I did, in the end. We can't just go and dump his body at the site. They're going to do a lot of digging up and reconfiguring of the area before they even begin to build, so we have to hold onto him for a while, and even once they start building, anything we place in there will seem out of place." "...maybe we should hide him in The Forgotten Tomb," Zoe said, making Allie's eyebrows arch; Zoe sighed and rolled her eyes, continuing, "You don't even remember your own tricks, do you? The Forgotten Tomb? The big gaudy sarcophagus that you used to do disappearing acts in? Remember? You'd go inside, it'd be buried, and then you'd come out in a second one that wasn't buried?" "Oooh, yeah. Geez, that thing's been in storage forever," Allie said, sipping her coffee, "but we'd need to actually bury it for good." "Exactly. And nobody would ever question it because, oh, gee, it's just a prop," Zoe said, "It wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary for it to be underground." "...wow, you're a criminal," Allie said. "Yeah why do you think my parents don't talk to me." This got Allie's attention, but it would have to wait. The front door opened and a meek, awkward young woman stepped outside to water her flowers. Allie and Zoe looked at one another, nodded, and got out of the car. As they headed across the street and up the driveway, Zoe whispered. "What are you gonna say to her?" "I have no idea," Allie replied, "Just let me do the talking. Hey! Hi there!" The woman looked up, somewhat frightened, but relaxed a bit when she saw it was just two other women approaching her. "Hi," she said in a very quiet voice, "Uh...I don't...I don't wanna buy anything and I'm happy with my religion." "Hah, no, no we're not, uh...we're from the Card Shark," Allie said, "I'm its resident magician, and this is my partner in show business. I'm Allie, she's Zoe. We just...we heard about the new casino being built soon and we had seen the work you'd done on Ceaser's Ghost and we, well, we were big fans of what you did so we wanted to meet you before you started on this one." "Oh," the woman said, standing up now, a small smile forming on her face, "Well, th...thank you. Would you like to come inside?" As she turned and headed up the porch stairs and indoors, Zoe looked at Allie in amazement. "Wow you're a good liar," she said quietly. "I'm a magician, my entire career is based on lies," Allie remarked as they followed the architect inside. The inside of the architects home was super minimal, and yet very chic. She had hanging plants, unique pieces of art on the walls and very nice furniture. Allie gazed around in wonder at how this lady was able to live so well just from designing buildings. She leaned closer to Zoe and lowered her voice as they headed into the kitchen. "I think I'm in the wrong career field," she whispered, making Zoe laugh a little. "Please, have a seat," the architect said, "My name is Molly. It's nice to meet you guys. Would you like some coffee?" "I had some on the way over, but I'm always interested in more," Allie said. "I'll have some, yes, thank you," Zoe remarked. Molly poured the women their drinks, and then put their mugs in front of them before seating herself down at the table with them. There was a plate of sugar cookies on the table and Zoe looked at them for a moment, before Molly told them to help themselves, which they did, happily. "So," Allie said between chewing, "When's construction supposed to start on this new casino?" "Well I have to go out there first and ensure the land is actually viable to be built upon, but I'm sure it will be. After that then I draw up some plans and show them to Tony, and then we get the show on the road," Molly said, her voice very soft and velvety, as she added, "So...maybe...three weeks before we begin actual construction? Should be finished in about 4 months. The way I design things is to maximize space without taking too long in production." "Wow, that's really cool," Zoe said, "Seems like most things take forever to be built." "That's why people come to me," Molly said, picking up a cookie for herself, "It's my specialty." "So you think Tony's going to be having some sort of special opening ceremony or something?" Allie asked, and Molly shrugged. "You know him better than I do," she said, "though, in my experience, yes. Most club owners want their places to open with flourish, so it's highly likely he'll host some kind of enormous opening party or event." Allie and Zoe exchanged a look, and they knew then and there they would be alright. *** "All we have to do is do the same trick," Allie said, "but instead, we put him in the second sarcophagus and me in the one we're making people think we're burying, then we swap them somehow, so he and his gets buried forever while the one I'm in gets brought back up." "We could use smoke to obscure everyone's vision while we switch them," Zoe said, and Allie shook her head. "Smoke is too obvious, it's long since been recognized as a misdirect," Allie replied. "Dude, we're not trying to wow people, we're trying to cover up a murder," Zoe said, making Allie chuckle. "Okay, fair enough," she said, "but...I don't know. Maybe I should just pay my dues. He was a drug dealer, maybe I won't get too harsh a sentence, especially with my fame, and-" "I'm not letting you go to prison," Zoe said through her clenched teeth, "you're my only friend and I'm not letting you go away because you were trying to protect me. The only other person who's tried to protect is has been my sister, and I won't let anything happen to you just like I won't let anything happen to her, okay?" "O...okay," Allie whispered, rubbing Zoe's back, "It's okay, we'll make this work somehow, I'm sorry." Allie didn't speak for the rest of the drive home. *** Standing in the doorway, watching Zoe unpack and fix up her bedroom, Thea couldn't help but feel weird. Here she'd thrown herself at the mercy of their folks, and taken Zoe into her own home, and yet she felt like perhaps their parents were oddly right in some way. Like Zoe hadn't tried hard enough. Like Zoe had made one too many mistakes. But...but she couldn't just let them cut her loose. She was her baby sister, and she had to be there for her. "You think you'll do well here?" Thea asked as Zoe sat on the bed and plugged her landline in on the bedside table. "Yep. I'm gonna get a job and I'm gonna get my own place and I'll never have to talk to mom and dad again," Zoe said giddily. "You know, if things get better, if you get better, then you won't have to cut them out of your life entirely. Though, I completely understand wanting to, believe me. They're nothing if not impossible to deal with. I think some people just weren't meant to be parents." "Thank you for letting me live with you," Zoe said as Thea walked inside and sat on the bed; she fiddled with the cord of the phone and smiled weakly, adding, "you've always been there for me. You've always been the one to look out for me, and I'm so grateful you're my sister." Thea smiled and hugged Zoe tightly. "I'm grateful to get to be your sister," she replied softly. A few months later, after a handful of failed attempts at odd jobs around the city and on the verge of total emotional collapse, Zoe wound up impressing Tony the same way Allie had so many years before, and it was then that Tony's plan was hatched to get Allie to clean her mess up. He'd give her a partner. He'd give her something to worry about beside herself, and that would keep her out of trouble. Oh how fucking wrong he'd be. *** Allie couldn't sleep that night. She tossed and turned, she groaned and took sleep aide after sleep aide but nothing seemed to work. She just couldn't handle it. All she could see when she shut her eyes was that moment of Sunny breaking his neck over and over and over again, forever played on repeat on the inside of her eyelids. Finally she gave up and she picked up the phone, dialing. "Hello?" Nick answered, chewing. "You eating?" "Yeah, I took in some Italian food from the catering place," Nick said, "What's going on?" "...do you think I'm a bad person?" Allie asked, and Nick scoffed. "Are you kidding me? You're the best person. That's why it hurt so much to see you do what you did to yourself," Nick said, "Come on Al, you're great, okay? You're the fucking Astounding Allie! No, of course I don't think you're a bad person. I think you have problems, but who doesn't, and at least yours are understandable considering what happened to you. You're not just self destructing for no reason. Not that that's an excuse, but it's at least an explanation." "Will you come over?" "Al, I don't-" "No, not...not for anything weird, I just...I can't sleep, and I don't feel safe, and I don't wanna be alone," Allie said, "Please, Nick? We'll just watch TV and stuff. I just can't be alone tonight." A pause, and Nick sighed. "Alright, I'll be there shortly." Meanwhile, Zoe was sitting downstairs at a slot machine, playing endlessly on a loop. She was barely even registering what she was doing anymore when she heard someone stop and stand beside her. Zoe looked and saw Effie standing there, smiling at her. "Having fun?" she asked. "Not really," Zoe said. "...you ok?" Effie asked, "You seemed distant earlier, and you, well, you don't seem any better now and I'm just worried about you." "What are you even doing down here so late?" Zoe asked, checking her watch. "I had a late show, I just finished up," Effie said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder towards the theatre, before adding, "...you want to come to my place? You don't have to stay here and gamble the night away." "...okay. I don't think I could go home tonight anyway," Zoe said, as she got up, gathered her things and followed Effie to her car outside. *** "Wow," Zoe said upon entering the apartment loft, "This is swanky." "Yeah, and I don't pay too much either," Effie said, "frankly I'm lucky to be in the position I'm in because if I wasn't a comedian I don't know what the fuck I'd be doing with my life, so I count my blessings every goddamn day, believe me." Zoe stood at the bar separating the kitchenette from the living room and watched Effie get something to eat out of the fridge. She unwrapped a large foil container full of spare ribs before plopping them onto a plate and tossing them into the stove to reheat. She then turned and looked at Zoe, smiling. "Hey, I eat a lot of leftovers," Effie said, "Work so late I don't really have time to cook, so." "I can cook," Zoe blurted out, "I mean, like...if you wanted someone to cook, or something." "Are you offering to make me dinner?" Effie asked, laughing. "I don't know, this is new to me," Zoe said. "What's new to you, exactly?" "...everything. This life. Being in show business. Hanging out with celebrities. These...feelings," Zoe said, as Effie leaned on the counter and posted up, listening. "Tell me about these feelings," she said quietly. "I tried to ignore them," Zoe said, "but they're always there, just under the surface. You remind me of a girl I went to school with, and I think that's why it's easier to talk to you, cause, like, I'm already kind of familiar with you in a sense? Even though, you know, you're not the same people, or whatever. But...mom and dad were so...weird, so restrictive. They only took me to that show for my birthday because I begged them to, and even then I had to make a bunch of promises in order for them to agree." "What kind of promises?" Effie asked. "Do better in school, take better care of myself...stop talking to other girls," Zoe said, feeling embarrassed. "I'm sorry," Effie said, "For what it's worth, my dad is an asshole about me, so I kind of know what it's like, but there's nothing to be ashamed of. Having spent time with you, you seem to be a really genuinely nice person who cares about your friends and your career and...and there's certainly no shame in being who you are." Effie came around the bar and stood next to Zoe, who turned to face her. "...I did something horrible," Zoe whispered, as Effie rubbed her fingers against Zoe's cheek. "Then how about doing something better to counteract it?" she asked, as Zoe nodded. Effie put one hand on Zoe's hip and pulled her closer, pushing her lips against hers and kissing her. Zoe had waited all her life to kiss another girl, and now that it was happening, she couldn't be happier. What a good end to a shitty day. After the kiss broke, Zoe looked at the couch. "You're not gonna make me sleep out here, are you?" she asked. "Not if you don't want to," Effie said, smirking. "I'd like it if we could just...lay down, and just...I really wanna be held," Zoe said. "I can do that for you," Effie whispered, pushing Zoe's bangs out of her eyes and leading her down the hallway towards the bedroom. "What about your ribs?" Zoe asked. "They'll be alright," Effie said, "you're more touch starved than hungry right now anyway it seems." "Oh, that was cute," Zoe said, giggling. "I make jokes for a living, this is what I do," Effie replied, shutting the bedroom door behind her. *** "Do you ever regret being with me?" Allie asked, her head leaning on Nick's shoulder as she was swaddled up in a blanket on the couch, the both of them watching some awful cooking show on TV. "Not really," Nick said. "...I did something horrible," Allie whispered and Nick stroked her hair. "It's fine," he said back softly, "We all do something horrible."
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ABOUT
Allie Meers is what she dreamed of being since she was a little girl...a successful Vegas magician. The only problem now is she can't make all her problems disappear; Allie grapples with her strained relationship, crippling addictions and FBI agents on her tail, all while trying to stay at the top of her career. Archives
December 2023
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