"Ma'am? I'm going to need you to stay with me, if you can, just for a moment," the man said as he loaded Allie into the back of the ambulance, "Ma'am? Can you hear me?"
Allie nodded, her eyes staring off into space, her lips moving to whisper, "...it hurts so much." "I know and we're going to get you to the hospital and get you fixed up pronto, I just need you to not lose consciousness yet before I give you this sedative," he said, popping a needle out of a hanging IV in the back of the ambulance and wiping the tip down with a swab, "Miss Meers? Can you do me a favor?" "What?" "I want you to count to five, okay? If you could just count to five, you'll be alright, and then you can pass out," the man said, "It's an old trick someone taught me in medical school. It's supposed to confuse your brain, redirect its efforts to something else so it doesn't focus primarily on the shock your body is going through. Can you do that for me?" Allie nodded, as he patted her shoulder and smiled. She started counting down backwards, her eyes getting heavier with every number as she felt the tip of the needle slip into her arm. "1...2...3...4...5..." *** Zoe was sitting in her bed at home, staring at the posters on her wall, most of assorted Vegas acts. All she'd ever wanted to do since she first saw Allie Meers was perform with her, and now she was being given her chance, and she was terrified to take it. Her bedroom opened and Thea stood there, looking at her sister as she sipped her coffee, leaning against the doorframe. "Why aren't you up?" she asked. "Nervous," Zoe said, her voice shaky, her fingers fidgeting, "just...unable to get up the guts to go in. Supposed to practice today for the boss, supposed to give, like, a performance, and I just...I worry I'm not going to be able to make Miss Meers confident in my abilities." "I'm sure it'll be fine, but you can't just stay in bed all day," Thea said, "Remember? That was part of the agreement. I'd let you stay here if you continued to try and get better. Now get up, put some pants on and I'll drive you, okay? We'll stop and get breakfast somewhere fast and easy." "...I could go for some greasy hashbrowns," Zoe said, smiling a little now as her sister nodded. "Atta girl," she replied. After Zoe had gotten dressed, she and Thea climbed into Thea's car and started heading towards Card Shark. They stopped by a burger place and got their breakfast platter, before parking in the Card Shark lot and eating breakfast. As Zoe sipped her soda and Thea bit into her tiny flapjacks, Zoe couldn't help but feel like her sister was really trying to help her, and she appreciated her so much for it. "...thanks," Zoe mumbled, "for, you know, caring about me." "You're a pain in my ass, but you're a pain in MY ass, so it's my duty to care about you," Thea said, chewing noisily and then taking a sip of coffee, before exhaling and adding, "but, we did have a deal, okay? Remember that. I need you to keep your end of the bargain up. You've been doing well, but I need you to really follow through, alright?" "I know, I'm sorry." "I know you get nervous, I get nervous too. I think we get it from dad," Thea said, "but I'm here, and it seems like this Allie Meers is trying to be your friend from what you've told me, and that sounds good. Just don't give up, okay?" "Okay," Zoe said, smiling as she climbed out of the car and said bye to her sister, heading into the casino. Once inside, she spotted Allie at a slot machine, playing mindlessly, pulling the crank every handful of seconds. Zoe stopped by her machine and sat down on a stool, watching her. She'd never really seen Allie just...relax. She'd seen her drunk, passed out, but actually genuinely relax? This was a first, and she was also finding herself hard pressed to consider this "relaxing". She sipped her soda, then handed it to Allie, who happily declined her offer and instead held up a martini glass on the top of the slot machine. "This early?" Zoe asked. "What else I have going for me?" Allie asked. "I thought you were trying to slow down." "I am, and this is slowing down. I could be four drinks in already. I'm just nursing this one," Allie said, "I'd say for a crippling alcoholic that that's pretty good." Zoe giggled as Allie pumped quarter after quarter into the slot machine. After a few minutes of people watching, Zoe turned back to Allie and slid her hand into her hoodie pocket, pulling another hashbrown out and biting into it, catching Allie's attention. "Did you just pull a fried potato out of your pocket?" she asked, "you're like a genie. I want one." "Heyo," a voice said, as a woman with short brown hair and wearing a suit leaned against the slot machine, "How much are you down this morning?" "No idea," Allie said, "I started with four cups worth of quarters and now I'm down to this one half, so...not good? What are you doing here? Didn't you have a morning show?" "Are you kidding? Nobody comes to see a comedian in the morning," the woman said, before grinning at Zoe and waving at her sweetly, "Hiya, I'm Effie Stonem. Who're you? Allie's sponsor?" she asked, nudging Allie in the ribs and winking, making Allie laugh mockingly. "I'm Zoe, I'm Allie's new partner," Zoe said, "I think I've seen you on TV." "Unlikely," Allie said, "You have to be talented to be on television." "Hey, come on, you know that's not true," Effie said, the three of them chuckling, "Yeah, you probably have seen me on television. I get some short gigs now and then on the comedy network. You got a partner? Like how your cousin used to be?" "Yes," Allie said, clamming up at the thought of that. Why did everyone in this casino know her personal business? Was she that much of a talkative drunk? She really needed to learn to keep her mouth shut from now on if she didn't want to be constantly reminded of things that hurt her so deeply so regularly. *** "Can you grip this?" Nick asked, as he helped Allie out of her wheelchair and in between the two bars on both sides of her. She locked her fingers of her working hand around one, but struggled to do so with the other, and winced, wanting to cry. "God, it hurts so much," she whispered, her eyes stinging with tears. "Okay, okay, it's alright," Nick said, as he helped her back to his couch in the apartment, adding as he stroked her hair, "Hey, it's alright, you'll make progress, okay? It's going to take some time, but you'll make progress, I promise." He leaned in, listening, as she mumbled under her breath. "What are you doing?" he asked, "Are you counting?" "When they came to get me off the stage," Allie said, "this guy in the ambulance, he told me to count to give, because it distracts your brain momentarily from the pain. It's been a pretty useful tactic during this session of physical therapy, let me assure you." "Huh, I think I remembering being taught that but I don't think I ever actually attempted it myself or offered it as a solution to anyone," Nick said, leaning back on the couch, "...it actually works?" "I mean, only momentarily, like I said," Allie replied, "but yeah, it does. It at least buys me a few minutes of peace if nothing else. Now I just use it for whenever I feel remotely scared or anxious or nervous. I just...shut my eyes and count to five." And she'd been doing it ever since. *** "Are you ready?" Allie asked, watching Zoe pace in her outfit in Allie's penthouse as they prepared to head down to the stage for their solo performance for Tony. Zoe, clearly, was not ready, and Allie could all but tell this from just a single glance. Zoe was wearing the old outfit Allie herself had once worn, but it wasn't doing much to calm her down. Allie sighed, finished lacing up her boot and walked to Zoe, putting her hands on her shoulders and making her face her. "Listen to me," Allie said, "Here's a little trick someone taught me in an ambulance once. I want you to count to five. Just take a deep breath and count to five. It will make your brain be distracted momentarily and clear your head so you can calm down, okay? It alleviates some of the fear. Can you do that for me, partner?" "O...okay," Zoe replied, shutting her eyes and, inhaling deeply, began counting out loud, "1...2...3...4...5..." After she finished, she opened her eyes and looked at Allie, still standing in front of her. "That didn't really work." "Well, maybe you have to be under extreme duress. To be fair, when he taught it to me, my wrist was barely attached to my arm, so," Allie said, thinking before snapping her fingers and pointing at Zoe, "I got it! I could break your arm!" "That...seems a bit unnecessary," Zoe replied, trying not to laugh. "Hey, I'm just trying to help," Allie said, shrugging, the both of them laughing now as Allie patted Zoe's back and said, "See? It did kind of help you distract yourself in a way, didn't it?" "It actually did, yes, thank you," Zoe said. "Well, partner, let's go get 'em," Allie said, opening the penthouse door leading to the hallway. *** Shortly after Nick left her, Allie found herself in the penthouse, alone. She was afraid to be alone. She was always afraid that something bad would happen to her whenever she had the time to be alone. Like perhaps she'd have a stroke, or a heart attack, or finally simply take one too many painkillers and did herself in before anyone could find and help her. Not that she'd want to be helped, to be fair...and it wasn't that she didn't like being alone. That was a whole other thing entirely. She was not one of those people who thinks other people need social contact, no, she thrived by herself. But she was afraid of it, at least, simply because she thought something may harm her if she were alone. So Allie paced, and she drank, and she paced and drank some more, and she got undressed to just her underwear and she played the baby grand piano in the penthouse sloppily, slurring her words to whatever Billy Joel sound she could conjure up from her mind. It wasn't until she found herself opening the window in the penthouse that gazed down at the busy Vegas streets below, and climbing onto the ledge that she realized just how sad she really was. She wanted to walk off. Not jump. No. That was too much of a spectacle and she didn't deserve that attention. No, she wanted to merely walk off. She wanted it all to be over. She wanted Nick back, and she knew that she had a pill problem, and a drinking problem, and that she was barely capable of containing them, and that she was on the verge of losing her lifelong dream, and that this might be one of the last nights she spends in this penthouse, a penthouse she's come to call home, even if it's never felt much like home. But instead, she climbed back through, closed the window, leaned against it... ...and she counted to five. *** Tony was impressed, he couldn't deny it. If Allie was still doing as poorly as she had been, it didn't come across in their performance for him. In fact, she seemed more with it and together than she had in ages, and he chocked that up to the mere fact that she had someone to prop up in the act with her. She'd always done better with her cousin, he'd known, so putting her with someone else was a no brainer. Afterwards, while Zoe and Allie drank small glasses of wine he offered them as he lit a cigar for himself, the girls couldn't feel more proud. Tony sat at his desk and smiled. "You guys were killer, and I think this is going to work out well," he said, "I'm glad to see you're getting along as well as you are." "Miss Meers is an excellent tutor," Zoe said. "I think with you two together, it will bring the quality of not just the act up obviously but also the audience. Magic's hurtin', it's hurtin' bad, as I'm sure you're aware. Vegas magic isn't competing as well as it used to, but I think you ladies are talented enough to stay afloat and-" The door opened and someone summoned Tony out of his office, saying he was needed for a moment. He groaned and stood up, exiting. "I'll be right back, pardon me ladies," he said, shutting the door behind him as he left. "...you know," Zoe said, her voice shaky, "I thought you were going to betray me. I thought you were going to be one of those stars who...who says 'you can be here but just stay out of my way', but you're actually not that way at all. You seem to want to help me have a career as much as I want to help be a part of yours. I'm so glad, because you...you were, like, such an inspiration to me as a kid." "God, don't say that, that makes me feel old, I'm not that much older than you," Allie said, laughing and rubbing her face with her hand, "but...you're welcome, Zoe. I remember what it was like, being that loser kid who was interested in magic, especially if you were a girl. That's bully city right there. We have to stick together, not just as women, but as magicians. If I can't count on you, who can I count on?" Allie meant this, she did, but she also knew it was somewhat of a lie. She knew Zoe would go to the ends of the earth for her. She knew Zoe would never leave her side. She knew Zoe was 100% dependent on her. She liked that power, and she liked knowing she could have Zoe help her with anything because of the power she wielded over her. Not that she'd want to go down that road, but hero worship is a disgusting thing, and an even easier thing to use to ones advantage. But, despite that, Allie was actually trying to be a better person. She wanted to get sober. She wanted to stop the pills. She wanted to clean up her act - figuratively and literally - and she wanted to help Zoe create her own. She did actually like the kid, after all. After the meeting, when Allie found herself alone again that night, she took all the alcohol in the penthouse minifridge and she poured it down the drain, except for a small bottle of expensive whiskey that Tony had given her as a gift for the holidays. Standing there, her hands gripping the counter as she watched it all disappear down the drain, she looked at the pills to her right and she shook her head. No. Not tonight. If Zoe was going to help her, she'd need to help Zoe, and that started with being remotely stable. So instead, Allie did the next best thing. She took a deep breath. 1...2...3...4...5...
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
ABOUT
Allie Meers is what she dreamed of being since she was a little girl...a successful Vegas magician. The only problem now is she can't make all her problems disappear; Allie grapples with her strained relationship, crippling addictions and FBI agents on her tail, all while trying to stay at the top of her career. Archives
December 2023
Categories |