"You don't think I'm evil, do you?" Claire asked, sitting at Rachel's kitchen table the morning after they'd buried yet another person in the wall of the abandoned apartment complex. Rachel, stood at the counter, was stirring her coffee with a spoon and exhaled, then shook her head.
"No, Claire, I don't think you're evil," she replied, "I think you're sick, and that that illness makes you do evil things. And that isn't the case for every sick person, but it's the case in this situation. But the nice thing about illness is that it doesn't define you, so no, you're not evil. But we have to stop doing this. It's going to get bad if we don't, and someone will catch you." Claire nodded, reaching onto the table for a poppyseed muffin and, after unwrapped the bottom, taking a big bite out of it. Rachel seated herself at the table as well, sipping her coffee as Claire chewed. "...what if I killed someone without being off my medication? Would that make me evil?" Claire asked. "Depends on the situation, honestly," Rachel said, shrugging, "there's self defense, other morality based rationalizations, what have you. Just depends. But let's hope you never have to find out." Claire nodded again, chewing silently. If only she knew what the future held. *** "Hey," Benny said, approaching Molly on the couch, covered in a blanket, "you okay?" "I feel...dumb," she said softly, "everyone has left, obviously it's okay to, maybe we overreacted. I don't know. I just feel dumb. And I also feel dumb for being duped so easily, repeatedly. First by the guy I dated in high school, then by Allie, and then by this girl. Why do people like to lie to me?" Benny shrugged as he seated himself on the arm of the couch, opening a bag of cookies and reaching in, handing one to Molly before biting into one himself. "I don't think it's a personal thing," he said, half chewing, "I think...people can often tell what other people are like, you know, what kind of person they are? They meet you, they see you're sweet and understanding and compassionate. They wanna take advantage of that, and sadly those traits more often than not entice assholes, not others who share them. But that isn't your fault, nor should you be ashamed of being that way." Molly blushed as she bit into the cookie as well, the two of them sitting in silence for a moment. Finally the apartment door opened, and Olivia entered. She waved at Benny, who got up and exited into the bathroom while Olivia pulled her jacket off and, still in her blackjack uniform, seated herself on the couch beside Molly. Molly handed her the bag of cookies, which she happily took and reached into. "You doing okay?" Olivia asked, and Molly chuckled. "Benny just asked me that," she replied, "but I don't know, I guess? It's really hard to say." Olivia set the bag of cookies down on the other side of herself, then reached out and took one of Molly's hands, squeezing gently. Molly looked over, blushing. "...to pull you in the way they did is despicable, but they do clearly care," Olivia said, "and that...that's something you can't shake a fist at. It's so hard to find people in this world who genuinely want the best for you. Even rarer if they aren't direct family. I know not all families are great, but even still. But you're clearly cared about, by them, and by us, okay? You can stay here as long as you want, it's okay, I would't blame you for being too scared to go home." Molly nodded, on the verge of tears. Olivia leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her cheek, and that did it. Molly finally broke, and laid her head against Olivia's chest, sobbing. Olivia simply held her, stroking her hair as Benny re-emerged from the bathroom, wiping his hands on his pants. He smiled at the sight, as Olivia nodded to him, smiling back. They would be okay, and Molly would be okay, because they had her now. *** Zoe was sitting at the bar in the casino, sipping on a soda, staring at the wood grain finish on the bartop when she heard a stool pull out beside her. She glanced over and saw Effie, who smiled happily at her. "Where you been?" Effie asked, "I've been trying to reach you for hours." "...I had an emergency...well, Molly had an emergency, so Allie and I went to help her," Zoe said softly, "she's...she's fine though, like, no need to worry. Everything's okay now." "Well I was gonna take you to dinner tonight, but seeing as it's already almost 7, maybe we-" "I'd like that, if we could still go," Zoe said, catching Effie by surprise. "Yeah, sure, whatever you wanna do," Effie replied, smiling happily, pulling Zoe's hand to her lips and kissing it, "whatever you want, okay?" Whatever Zoe wanted? She wanted a night of normalcy. Of comfort. Of stability. She wanted things she knew she'd never have as long as she was attached to Allie Meers. Oh sure, at first working for your heroes seems like a dream come true, but it's anything but. She finally understood the old phrase 'never meet your heroes', because since meeting Allie, all her life had done was become worse. Sure, she was successful beyond her wildest dreams, but was success worth everything else that had come with it? And then it hit her. Zoe turned and looked at Effie, who was piling snack mix from the bowl on the bartop into her mouth, and Zoe smiled. The success sure wasn't, but Effie was. And if she hadn't become involved with Allie, the chances of meeting Effie, and thus being her open honest self, likely would've never happened. Maybe meeting your heroes wasn't so bad after all. *** Allie was sitting in a car outside the location Claire had given her, in the backseat while Agents Siskel and Tropper were in the front. They'd been parked here for a good fifteen minutes, nobody saying a damn thing. Finally, Allie reached out, fingers clutching the doorhandle, when she felt Agent Siskel reaching back, grabbing at her knee. Allie stopped and looked up at her. "You're gonna need protection," she said, "I'm going to give you a gun, okay? You don't have to use it, but just know that you can. And we'll be right outside." "I...I don't...I don't know that I've ever used a gun," Allie muttered, surprised. "It's not difficult, it's already loaded, it's ready to go, all you have to do is aim and pull the trigger," Agent Siskel said as she pulled a small black handgun from the bag in front of her and handed it back to Allie, who took it hesitantly; Siskel, brushing her hair from her eyes, then added, "Allie, it's just a last resort, okay? We don't know what Claire might do. I don't think she'd hurt you, but you never know. It's better to be safe than sorry." Allie nodded, taking the gun and putting it in the interior pocket of her coat. She then climbed out of the car and looked up at the building, where she spotted someone looking down at her, before they quickly pulled back in through the window. Allie exhaled, and then headed up the stairs and into the building through the front doors. Once inside, she could see this wasn't a building anyone used. This was clearly picked because it was abandoned. Allie balled her hands into fists and headed up to the room Claire had told her to go to. Step by step her heart quickened, terrified of what it was she might find at the top. She finally reached the hallway, the door on the right, room 317. Allie stopped and stared at the numbers on the plaque. Whatever lay behind this door...whatever she walked into...there was no coming back from it. This was it. This was a turning point. Allie exhaled, reached into her pocket, her hand gripped around the gun, and then she turned the doorknob. Once inside, she found a completely empty apartment. She furrowed her brow in confusion, before walking further inside. She hadn't imagined it. She'd seen someone in here. She knew she had. She headed to the bathroom. Nobody. The bedroom. Nobody. The kitchen. Nobody. What was going on? Finally she was in the guest bedroom, and as she turned back to re-enter the living room, she stopped. Standing there in the doorway was Rachel St. Claire. "Jesus!" Allie shouted, "what the fuck?! Why are you-" "Shhh," Rachel said, putting a finger to her lips, "you need to go here." Rachel walked forward slowly and slipped a piece of paper into Allie's hands which had new directions to a building a few blocks away. Allie looked at it, confused, and suddenly realized this room was a decoy. Claire probably knew Allie had been picked up, and knew that she'd have the agents with her, so she gave a decoy room so that the agents wouldn't stop whatever it was they had to do. Allie looked at Rachel, her eyes squinting, trying not to cry. "I'm scared," she whispered, and Rachel nodded, almost in tears too. "You should be," she replied, which sent a chill down Allie's spine. *** Molly was asleep on the couch, her head in Olivia's lap, Benny sitting on Olivia's other side. Molly hadn't been asleep in almost three days, and she couldn't stay up any longer, even when driven by fear. Benny and Olivia were watching TV as Molly snored lightly. Benny glanced down at her, then up to Olivia, and they laughed quietly at one another while Olivia continued to lose her fingers in Molly's hair. "What do we do here?" Benny asked. "I think we do exactly what we're doing," Olivia replied, shrugging, "I mean, why complicate things when they're so obviously simple. If you're asking what you're asking for the reasons I think you are." "I definitely am," Benny said, reaching over and holding Olivia's free hand. Benny had absolutely no qualms about bringing a third into this relationship, especially if that third was Molly Hatchet. Since the moment she'd come into his and Olivia's life, they'd both instantly taken a liking to her, more than that of platonic too. They'd been in an open relationship for years, but they'd never met someone who properly fit their criteria of someone to add as a third until Molly. Olivia lost her fingers in Molly's hair while Benny turned his attention back to the television. Perhaps, he thought, even if things went further down the drain in terms of Allie's plan, if nothing else good came of this entire situation, one thing had and that one thing had been meeting Molly. And for Molly? Despite being scared out of her mind, and not having slept in days, she actually felt safe enough to do just that here, in their presence. Because she felt like no matter what, if anything did happen, Benny and Olivia would protect her. Sometimes, it turns out, you meet the right people by knowing the wrong people. *** Zoe stared at the appetizers in front of her, while Effie leaned back in her chair, sipping from her wine glass, watching Zoe closely. Zoe reached out and picked up one of the deviled eggs from the plate and bit into it slowly, almost as if she was uncertain whether it was poisoned or not. Effie could tell something was wrong, but she wasn't exactly sure how to broach the issue. Finally, after a long wait, Effie sighed, set her drink back down on the table and leaned forward. "What's going on with you, man?" she asked, causing Zoe to look up at her, surprised; Effie continued, "you haven't been okay in months. I know Allie is making things difficult, but...fuck, Zoe, if she's really making things that hard, maybe it's time to consider the alternative." "I don't want the alternative," Zoe mumbled. "Well, you're not happy now, so what else is there? Listen, you're talented enough on your own, okay? I know that, your sister knows that, even Allie knows that. You could, at this point, strike out to make a name for yourself and leave Allie in the dust, and I know that sucks to hear because she's your friend and your partner but...but I don't think I've seen you genuinely happy in over half a year." "It isn't just Allie," Zoe said quietly, taking another small bite from a deviled egg, "it's everything...it's...people might believe in me, but I'm not sure that I do, and...and I can't abandon her. I can't do what her cousin did." "You are not responsible for a grown ass womans career, and especially not for her sense of self, okay?" Effie asked, reaching out and taking Zoe's free hand in her own, rubbing the back of it with her thumb gently, adding, "Zoe, you're your own person. You're allowed to be an individual. I will support you, alright? Even if you wind up not wanting to do magic, or, by some act of some kind of god being bad at it solo, I'll support you then too, okay? Because I love you, and I wanna help you be happy and satisfied, and right now you're not either." Zoe nodded gently. Effie wasn't wrong. But Zoe felt such shame attached to wanting to leave Allie behind. After all, all of this was, more or less, Zoe's fault. If she hadn't been assigned as her partner in the first place, none of this would've ever happened. She looked up and her eyes sparkled at the sight of Effie's face, lit by table candlelight, and she smiled for the first time in days. "I love you," Zoe whispered, making Effie blush. "I love you too," she replied, pulling her hand up to her lips and kissing it gently. Seemed like everywhere you looked, everyone was finding peace. Everyone except Allie Meers. *** Allie stood in front of the door, once again faced with the realization that whatever was on the other side of it, she wasn't sure she wanted to face. But she had to. She had to. She had no other choice. Rachel would keep the agents at bay, and they had no idea where she currently was. Allie swallowed, blinked a few times, then opened the door to the empty apartment loft. Dark, drafty, and sitting in the middle of the room was a chair with a woman tied to it. Allie approached, just as Claire came out from the nearby bathroom, washing her hands. The two women stopped and Claire smiled and waved at Allie. "I've got a bit of a problem with germs," Claire said, as she wiped her hands on her pants. "And yet you kill people," Allie said, "the most digusting, germ ridden act one could perform." "Please, sex is worse. That level of intimacy? Disgusting. No form of protection could prevent you from getting too familiar with your partners personal body fluids," Claire said, causing Allie to make a face. Claire sat on a stool in front of the chair, and Allie slowly, cautiously, came around beside her, looking at the woman she now knew as Kristin. "This is her?" Allie asked, and Claire nodded. "This is her," she replied, "in all her backstabbing glory. Funny what people will do to those they claim to love, isn't it? Not to mention manipulative. She chose the easiest one of us to get involved with, because she knew how easy Molly was to trick. Which begs the question...how much does her employer actually know about this? Does he know that Tony is trying to build a vault? Or did they just pick the most accessible one because of accessibility sake?" "Let's ask her," Allie said, approaching Kristin and ripping the tape off her mouth. Her eyes were red, dark circles underneath, and her hair an absolute mess. She looked like she'd been drugged or crying; Allie then backed away and, one hand in her coat pocket gripping the handle of the pistol, she asked, "we need some answers from you, okay?" "I'll tell you whatever you want to know, I already told her that," Kristin said, nodding towards Claire, who just scoffed and rolled her eyes, causing Allie to glance at her. Claire then leaned in towards Allie, her voice a dull whisper. "She can tell us whatever we want to know but that's not going to stop her from going back to her boss and telling him everything that just happened here. For all we know, all her boss is after is Tony, and his money. But now we're involved. Now she's got faces. That paints a target on our backs, Meers. Be very careful with how you approach this, because at this point, I don't think she can be trusted," Claire said quietly, Allie nodding in agreement. "Why did you want Molly's blueprints?" Allie asked, turning back to face Kristin now. "Because my boss told me that he had a sneaking suspicion that Tony was cutting back his funds," she replied, "and Tony's his biggest benefactor, so that's not good for business. Whatever else is going on here, I have no fucking idea. My boss thinks Tony had his daughter stalked by the police, causing her so much distress she eventually took her own life, but not before turning info on him to those who'd been asking. He's...not very happy with the current situation." "I would imagine not," Allie said, grabbing Claire by the shoulder and pulling her off the stool and a little ways away; she cleared her throat and said, "she knows absolutely nothing. That being said...you aren't wrong. She could just as easily go back to him, tell him who else is involved, which if he then shares that information with Tony, he'll know something is up and I can't have him getting suspicious. I need him to trust me for the time being." "Then do what has to be done," Claire remarked, her eyes narrowing, "do what you know you have to in order to have security." Allie looked over her shoulder at Kristin, who appeared absolutely terrified, and she sighed. "I don't think I can," Allie said. "You're capable of greater things than you can imagine," Claire replied, putting her hands on Allie's shoulders, holding her steady as she said, "you're the goddamned Astounding Allie, after all. Look at how far you've come. When you set your mind to something, you can accomplish that. That's where we're alike." That threw Allie off. She looked up into Claire's eyes and thought about what Agent Siskel had said to her. She didn't want to be alike to someone like Claire. She wasn't a murderer. She wasn't a cult leader. She wasn't anything like Claire. Except...she was. She just couldn't accept it, and denial was easier. Allie tightened her grip on the handle of the pistol, Claire completely unaware it was even in her jacket, and Allie felt her index finger come around the front of the trigger as she slowly raised it up so the barrel aligned with Claire's gut. It would be so easy. It would be so quick. It would incapacitate her, catch her completely off guard...but...but Claire had helped her so much. She could probably help her more. This woman, however, this Kristin or whatever her name actually was...she was a loose end. A thread that if tugged at even ever so gently would unspool and entire web of lies that would all lead back to Allie. "Take care of this Allie," Claire said, "be the magician that you are, and make her disappear." Allie gritted her teeth as Claire walked back towards the chair that held Kristin. Allie couldn't take it anymore. Everything that had happened in the past year, everything that had come as a direct result of killing Sunny...it had all led to this, and this pressure was eating her away inside. She could do the right thing. She could kill Claire Driscoll, kill a serial killer, and be hailed a hero. She could go with Kristin to her boss, to the governor, and take him down with the agents from the inside. She could make this take an entirely different turn. All she had to do was pull the trigger. Gun Claire down in the back right now. Allie felt her eyes well up with tears, and she pulled the pistol slowly from her coat pocket, then aimed. Two different women, two vastly different paths, all she had to do was make a choice. "Hey," Allie said. And then she fired.
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ABOUT
Allie Meers is what she dreamed of being since she was a little girl...a successful Vegas magician. The only problem now is she can't make all her problems disappear; Allie grapples with her strained relationship, crippling addictions and FBI agents on her tail, all while trying to stay at the top of her career. Archives
December 2023
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