It was finally here, the one thing every kid looked forward to in the school throughout the year...the book fair! Even the kids who didn't like to read still came away with enjoyment from it, because they weren't in class and because the book fair offered things not pertaining to books to buy. There were fun erasers, stickers, cool binders, unique school supplies all around, but mostly it was books. Lots and lots of books. And every year, the girls could barely sleep the night before knowing it was coming. This particular morning, walking down the halls towards the library where it was held, Mae, Trisha and Allie (they knew they'd see Chaz with her class at the fair) couldn't stop yammering about all the things they looked forward to buying.
"My dad says they sell all these books at a markup, and you could just as easily get them for half the price at a regular bookstore," Trisha said. "Your dad is smart, so I don't doubt it," Mae replied, "but I also don't care. It's not like it's my money, it's my parents money." "Also regular bookstores aren't gonna have cool popup books that you could only find at the fair," Allie chimed in, "Remember last year? When I found that popup book of Rudolph in which he becomes a vampire?" "I think that was a misprinting," Trisha said, "I think someone accidentally put two books together on one press." "It's still the coolest thing no bookstore's ever gonna have," Allie said. "I can't really argue that," Trisha said, shrugging. As they got closer to the book fair, the girls could hear the laughter and yelling of other kids. Only two classes were allowed to be at the fair at a time to prevent overcrowding, and it was just sheer luck that their class and Chaz's class got to show up together, but apparently Chaz's had gotten here earlier than theirs had. They could see her mop of blonde hair over the top of a cardboard standee, in fact. As they got up to it, Mae looked over the standee and Chaz looked up at her, and the two laughed as the girls came around the side. "Find anything good?" Mae asked. "I've only been here for like two minutes," Chaz remarked. "I wish I liked reading more," Allie said, "I wanna buy stuff here, but I just don't enjoy reading all that much." Trisha and Mae, however, had already left them in the proverbial dust to check out the chapter books. They had always loved reading, and often they would read books from the same series - sometimes the same book at the same time - just so they could later discuss it together. It was one of the cornerstones of their entire friendship. They dawdled off to a nearby shelving unit containing popular chapter series, and started looking through them, seeing what sounded best, leaving Allie and Chaz to their own devices. As Trisha picked up a book and turned it over, she groaned. "There's so many things I wanna read but I know my mom would never let me," she said, "which is ridiculous, it's not like they're adult books! They're kids books! I'm a kid, they're books for me!" "Why not buy them and read them in secret?" Mae asked. "Because she checks my backpack every day when I come home," Trisha said. "Geez, I'm so sorry," Mae mumbled, "that sounds terrible. My parents don't ever look in my backpack. Remember last year when I left that sandwich in there so long it grew its own society?" They both started laughing at the memory, and this made Trisha feel better about her own home life. It wasn't that she hated her mother, because she didn't, but she was so very overbearing at times that it was starting to become an issue. All Trisha wanted was to do the same thing the other kids her age were doing. She didn't mind going to church, in fact she admittedly enjoyed having faith in her life, but she didn't like the restrictions said faith placed on her adolescence, and often felt like she was missing out on integral parts of being a kid. Mae, on the other hand, often felt neglected. She knew her parents loved her, sure, but she also felt like they were often too busy with themselves and eachother to focus on her the way she wanted them to, and she felt weird asking for their attention. Sometimes she was jealous of Trisha's mom. Not necessarily the overbearingness persay, but the amount of attention in general she received as a result. Sure, Trisha's home life sounded awful, helicopter parenting was often awful, but she couldn't deny the fact that she often wished she could have that much attention lavished onto her, even if for the wrong reasons. "I love going to the library," Mae said suddenly, "And I can remember when I was really little, my mom would take me to the bookmobile and we would get out books she would read to me. The bookmobile is such a cool idea." "The library is a nice place," Trisha agreed, "but sometimes it's almost too quiet, and it's creepy." "We should go to a library together sometime!" Mae said excitedly, making Trisha laugh and nod. Meanwhile, Chaz and Allie were busy looking at all the non book related products the fair offered, ranging from magazines to school supplies and so on. Chaz picked up a bookmark and showed it to Allie, who scoffed. "What?" Chaz asked, "It's a race car, you don't like race cars?" "Just because I live in a trailer park I automatically like race cars?" Allie asked, "...I mean, sure they're cool, but still, don't just assume that!" "Sorry!" Chaz said, laughing and putting it back in the plastic bin, "what do you wanna get? Did your dad give you some money?" "Yeah, he gave me about twenty dollars," Allie said, "but I can't really think of anything. Didn't they used to sell posters? I could get a book poster. Or maybe get something for my dad. He likes to read more than I do. Maybe I could get him a book about cars or something." "Get your dad a magazine subscription." "That's...actually not a bad idea, let's see what they have." As Chaz and Allie flipped through the magazines, Trisha and Mae had each found something they were interested in, and were now comparing notes between the two, seeing which series they should pick to read together. As they stood there, coming away with pros and cons for each book series, Mae couldn't help but remember a time when she couldn't read, and not just when she was a baby, but when she was in 1st grade. All the other kids weren't having trouble, but she was, and it took giving her a private tutor during school hours to help her. They'd meet once a day throughout the week, and after a while, Mae was reading books well above her classmates levels. A small piece of pride found within a shameful secret. "Guys guys, look," Chaz said, approaching from behind and holding something out in front of Trisha and Mae and adding, "puppy calendar. The puppies are dressed up as characters from kid books." "Adorable," Trisha said, giggling, "I want one. Where's Allie?" The girls all looked around but they didn't see her. Suddenly they heard some noise from beside them and turned to see Rachel standing there, who was looking through a book about medieval fashion, specifically princesses. She waved daintily at the girls, who waved back. "Have you seen Allie?" Mae asked. "No," Rachel said. "What is that?" Trisha asked. "It's a book about princess fashion," Rachel said, "I love princesses, and I love the dresses." Mae, concerned about Allie's whereabouts now, began to walk away from the group in search of their missing friend. She looked around but she couldn't seem to find them no matter where she looked. After a while, she decided to give up, gave the things she wanted to purchase to Trisha to pay for for her - with the money her mom gave her so Trisha didn't spend her own - and then asked Mrs. Spinner if she could go to the bathroom. She said yes, handed Mae a hall pass and then watched her leave. When she got into the bathroom in the hall near the library, she shut the stall door behind her and locked it before hearing crying in the stall beside her. "Al...Allie?" Mae asked, getting on the floor and looking under the stall wall. "Mae?" Allie asked, doing the same. "What're you doing in here?" Mae asked. "I don't know..." Allie said, rubbing her nose on her long sweatshirt sleeve as she added, "I guess I just feel embarrassed cause I don't feel smart cause I don't read really. I was gonna get stuff for my dad, but I don't think he'd like that. I think he'd want me to get stuff for me, but I just...I don't like reading." "What if you joined me and Trisha and we all picked the same thing and read it together? That's what Trisha and I do. We pick the same book, then we read it and discuss it and that makes it more fun because we're experiencing it at the same time, and it gives us something to talk about," Mae said, "...also can we get off the floor, this floor is cold." Allie laughed and nodded. The two girls got up and exited their respective stalls. Standing now in the bathroom proper, after a moment, Mae surprised Allie by hugging her. Allie, taken aback, hugged Mae in response, and once the hug broke they both giggled. "I'm sorry you feel stupid, but you're not stupid, you should know that," Mae said. "I know, my dad always tells me I'm smarter than he is, but it just bothers me that everyone else looks forward to this day and I don't as much because I just don't like to read really." "We all have hobbies. Chaz doesn't read much either. She usually buys knick knacks or comic book collections," Mae said, "and there's nothing wrong with that. Would you help you to know that I had trouble learning how to read?" "Really?" Allie asked. "Mhm," Mae said, "I just couldn't figure out how to do it, and it was making me feel really dumb because all the other kids weren't having trouble. So my parents found a tutor and I went to her everyday during the week, and she helped me learn how to read and now I can read books like nobodies business. But for a long time it was embarrassing. I'd get picked to read a paragraph of something and I would stutter and stammer and have a lot of problems and all the other kids would laugh." "Jerks." "Total jerks. But eventually I outread them all," Mae said, "We all have hobbies and we all have problems, but we're your friends and we're not gonna judge you for that, Al. You can join Trisha and I if you want. We'll all read something together. Or you don't have to read at all. The world's your oyster!" "What's an Oyster?" "I don't know, some kind of fish," Mae said, shrugging. Together the girls headed back out of the bathroom and back to the book fair. Once there, Allie purchased an airplane calendar for her father and a book for herself, the very same book Mae and Trisha had picked to read together, and she felt a little bit better about reading. Chaz bought the puppy calendar, along with a sticker book and a few bookmarks. As they headed back to their respective classes, the girls couldn't help but feel like another book fair had successfully come and gone, but that they'd each walked away with a better understanding of themselves, their hobbies and eachother. That night, when Allie gave her father the calendar, he hugged her tightly and thanked her repeatedly. He said that she didn't have to buy him anything, but that he appreciated the gesture anyway. And then, for the first time in her life, Allie went to her bedroom, sat on her bed and read a book, and enjoyed it. Knowing she would have friends to discuss it with in the morning made the experience all the greater, it turned out. She didn't really appreciate the art of literature, in the end, but she appreciated the other things it brought her, such as a better friendship with the girls. And that alone was worth the 7.50 she paid.
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FANNYPACK follows 4 girls - Chaz, Allie, Trisha and Mae - in the 90s as they deal with adolescence and friendship. Archives
December 2022
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