None of the girls liked physical education, but every year, when the training for the Presidential Fitness Test came around, they liked it even less. Chaz especially, being heavier than the others, really disliked PE, despite generally enjoying doing more physical activities than the others, but she hated being graded for her shortcomings. Sitting on the bleachers in the auditorium, Chaz and Mae were simply watching the others do their training. Chaz had long been excused for PE via doctors note, while Mae had asthma, and so she was fairly excused from it as well.
"What even is the point of this class?" Chaz asked, "I mean, all the other things we learn in school are used in life, like english or math, but what is the point of making us exercise? Is it just to make sure we get exercise? That's dumb, cause we already have recess." "I don't know," Mae said, "All I know is I'm glad I don't have to do it." Trisha came jogging up to the bleachers, kneeling and exhaling, trying to catch her breath. She looked at the girls and tossed her braids back behind her. "How bad is it?" Chaz asked. "It's stupid," Trisha said, "This whole thing is stupid. I already get plenty of exercise, cause my dad takes me on walks regularly!" "He takes you on walks? Like a dog?" Mae asked, making them laugh. "I hate the presidential fitness test," Chaz said softly. "Yeah, well, you're lucky you're able to sit out the training at least," Trisha said. "I would agree except it makes others make fun of me," Chaz said, "They think I'm special cause I don't have to do it, and they make fun of Mae cause she can't breath well. Not being involved isn't as good as it sounds, actually." Suddenly the girls heard a commotion across the auditorium and they all looked at toward the sound, noticing one girl had been shoved to the ground by another. The girl on the ground was screaming, crying, while the other just stood there, looking annoyed. "That's Eliza," said Trisha. "Who?" Chaz and Mae asked in unison. "Eliza Heckle, she sits in the back of the class, she's kind of...uh...not smart?" "Retarded?" Chaz asked. "That's a mean word, that's why I didn't say it," Trisha said, "I prefer the term special." "Why do you prefer it, you're not special," Mae asked, making Trisha smirk. "Why are we doing this inside anyway?" Chaz asked as Allie seated herself on the bleachers behind them and sighed. "Because it's raining outside," she said. "Barely!" Mae replied, "It's barely raining!" They heard more screaming and they all looked towards Eliza, who was now waving her arms at the teachers trying to help her up. They saw their PE teacher, Mrs. Devorka, stand up and look around the auditorium, hands on her hips, until her eyes landed on Mae and Chaz. "Uh oh," Mae said, "We've been spotted." "Girls, come here please," Mrs. Devorka called, and Mae and Chaz groaned, standing up and walking over there, leaving Allie and Trisha alone. Trisha seated herself and waited, still trying to catch her breath. After a minute she looked up at Allie, who smiled at her. "Why were you late?" Trisha asked. "My dad's car had trouble," she said, "I didn't know we were having the training this early in the day." As Mae and Chaz walked up to Mrs. Devorka, her male assistant had finally managed to help Eliza up, who was looking at her shoes and sniffling. "Girls, can you walk with Eliza to the nurses office?" Mrs. Devorka asked, I normally wouldn't ask you to do something like this, but consider it your PE credit. Just take her there and then come back, okay?" "Okay," Chaz said, the three of them heading towards the large double doors that led from the auditorium into the hallway, leaving Allie and Trisha alone in the auditorium. Eliza had short brown curly hair and big braces. To be honest, Mae couldn't remember the last time she'd even heard Eliza speak, and they'd certainly never hung out with her. Walking down the hall, Eliza still wouldn't talk, so Chaz pulled out some candy from her pocket and offered some to Mae and Eliza, which they both graciously accepted. "How do you have pockets in your gym shorts?" Mae asked. "I made pockets in 'em!" Chaz said, "Actually my sister did the sewing, but yeah." "That's so cool." "I like candy, thank you," Eliza said, finally speaking and thus surprising both Chaz and Mae. "You're welcome," Chaz replied, smiling. *** "I have to do a lot of stuff around the trailer, so I get plenty of exercise," Allie said, she and Trisha now standing near a rope to climb as Trisha prepared to climb up; Allie followed up with, "but you say you go for walks?" "Yeah, daily, I pull my little sister in a wagon," she said, "Sometimes dad takes us to a park and we play on the playground there. We get a lot of exercise, that's why this isn't that bad for me. What kinda stuff do you have to do around the trailer?" "Mostly cleaning, but hey, it keeps me active," Allie said, shrugging as Trisha grabbed the rope and started climbing. Allie stayed at the bottom, counting on the stopwatch how long it'd take, and occasionally glancing up, spotting her to make sure she wasn't falling. After a few minutes, Trisha came back down, holding the flag she'd gotten at the top in her teeth. She then handed it to Allie, who then prepared to climb. "My dad tells me that exercise is important, but I also just like being outside and doing things," Trisha said, "One of my favorite things about my church is how often we do outdoor activities. I just like being outside. I don't mind exercise either, but I genuinely like being outside." "Being outside's alright," Allie said, grabbing the rope and putting the flag in her teeth as she started to climb, adding, "but we're not outside right now, so I think it's fair to be mad about it." Trisha found it hard to argue with that. Sure, it was raining, but there was just something wrong about doing PE indoors. *** "Why did that girl push you?" Chaz asked, chewing on the candy she'd eaten. "I don't know, she doesn't like being paired with me," Eliza said, "She just hates me. Everyone hates me." "That's not true, we don't hate you," Mae said, "and I'm sure your mom doesn't hate you." Eliza didn't respond, she just kept chewing her candy as the girls continued down the hall to the nurses office. After a minute or so of silence, Eliza sighed. "I just wish I could do what the other kids do," Eliza said, "It isn't fair. I can't do things they can do. I'm not able to do things like PE and even maths and even fail each spelling test." "You're able to talk fine," Mae said, "and math is stupid anyway." "Yeah, you don't seem like you have trouble," Chaz said. "That's because I have a good speech therapist," Eliza said, "but when it comes to thinking, I'm not able to think very well. So when I'm faced with a test or something, or even physical stuff, I do really badly. Everyone always makes fun of me for it." "Well, we won't," Chaz said. Eliza didn't respond to this, but she let this acceptance warm her insides. As they reached the nurses office, they entered, told the nurse why they were there, and left Eliza with another piece of candy, telling her she could talk to them anytime. Chaz and Mae exited the nurses office and each exhaled deeply before looking at one another. "...wow..." Chaz said, "and to think we don't fit in." "She has it so much worse," Mae said. They started to head back to the auditorium, but Mae couldn't help but think about Eliza. She herself had had trouble in school, especially early on when learning how to read. She'd never told any of the other girls this, but she'd needed a private tutor to help her learn how to read. Now, of course, she was the best reader amongst them, but it was still a secret shame to her. She could relate to Eliza in a way, because she felt like they were perhaps opposite sides of the same coin, and if things were just slightly different, she'd be the one everyone made fun of instead of ignoring outright. That, coupled with her complete and utter inability to be remotely successful in math made her feel very close to Eliza. "...I'm glad we don't have to do PE," Mae said quietly. "Yeah, it'd be really awful to suck at something else," Chaz said, making Mae laugh. At least she had her friends, she thought. *** "Cheerleading?!" Allie said, almost sounding indignant. "Yeah, what about it?" Trisha asked, "It's good exercise! I always thought that, when we got to high school, I might join the cheerleading squad because it makes others happy and it keeps you in good shape. What's so wrong with cheerleading?" "Only everything," Allie said coldly, making Trisha laugh. Just then she noticed Mae and Chaz had sidled up beside her, and they all nodded at one another, while they sat back down on the bleachers. While Allie, Trisha and Chaz continued to talk about Trisha's surprising interest in cheerleading, Mae couldn't help but think back to Eliza. She knew she wasn't "special" in the same sense, but she couldn't help but feel like she could relate on some level. When her mother picked her up after school that day, Mae was sitting in the passenger seat of the car and thought long and hard as they headed home, before finally looking at her mother and asking "Am I mentally challenged?" This surprised Juliet, who laughed almost nervously before pulling the car over to the side of the road and parked. She sighed and looked at Mae, then pushed her hair back and slumped forward. "Um, no, not challenged, not in the traditional sense anyway. What...what brought this up?" Juliet asked. "Today at school this mentally challenged girl had to go to the nurse, and she just seemed...so much like...me," Mae said, "I had trouble learning how to read and I can't do math and-" "Lots of kids have those problems, Mae," Juliet said, "but we...when you were born we were afraid because your umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck and you weren't breathing, and at first we thought maybe you'd choked to death but once you were fine we forgot about it until you started having problems. It's entirely possible that that lack of oxygen to your brain, even if only briefly, was damaging. We had some tests run, and the only thing we learned was that you were on the autistic spectrum." "...what's that?" Mae asked. "It's like, it's why you can't have tags in your shirt or can't have your food touch on your plate or why you do the same things over and over again. Repetition is calming to you. You like organization. So no, you're not challenged, not in the same way other kids might be, but you're not like everyone else either, but you know what? That's fine. That's what makes you you, and your father and I wouldn't want it any other way. We love you because you're how you are." Mae blushed and looked at her hands, trying not to cry. "Thanks mom," she whispered. "Of course," she said, leaning over and kissing her on the head. Mae was special, just not in the way she thought. Not in the way people used the word negatively, and that made her feel good. *** The next day, during PE for more Presidential Fitness Test training, Mae took Trisha's attitude and decided to, even in spite of her asthma, try to do some of the training. She wasn't going to let herself become a target by sitting around and doing nothing, and, unlike Eliza, at least she wasn't paired with people who didn't like her. She had friends, best friends, and she was grateful for that. So Mae climbed the ropes, Mae did the stretches, Mae did the jogging, and then, at the end of the class, Mae found Eliza and told her that, if she ever wanted to, she could hang out with her and her friends. Because Mae knew what it was like, to feel that alone, to feel that different. She didn't want anyone else to feel that way. Eliza did, in fact, eat lunch with them that day and played with them at recess, and she had to best time of her life, and when she got picked up after school that day - despite hating PE - and her mom asked how her day was, Eliza just smiled and said it was good. "I made friends!" she said brightly.
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"I don't even celebrate Christmas," Mae whined, "I should be exempt from this."
"But it brings in money for the school," Trisha said, "Isn't that a good cause?" "Why's that our responsibility? We're kids!" Allie replied, making Chaz and Mae laugh in agreement. The annual wrapping sale was once again upon them. Every year, the school sent each kid home with an armful of catalogues and a small book of samples of wrapping paper to show to potential buyers. The children were expected to go around their neighborhoods and try and sell as much wrapping paper as possible, in order to pay for certain school activities, equipment and to fund the usual holiday field trip, and every year the girls had participated, but as they got older, Mae had become irritated at how little her own religion was seemingly ignored. Not that she was a particularly religious person by any means, but she'd begun to feel like the token minority. Then again, Trisha's family was Mormon, so maybe she wasn't the only one who felt this way. Even still, however, Trisha's family celebrated the holiday, while Mae's family only celebrated Hanukkah. "I don't even get to go on the field trip, so I know what you mean about not feeling motivated," Trisha said, "My mom never lets me go, and it's always upsetting." "I bet I know how we could make it more entertaining," Allie said, "Let's make it a contest." "What do we get if we win?" Chaz asked. "We'll split into teams, and whichever team sells the most gift wrap gets the present they want the most, money permitting," Allie said, "Obviously you can't ask for something like a boat." "That sounds fair," Mae said, "Who's on whose team?" "Well, since you and Trisha celebrate different religions, you two team up, and Charlize and I will team up against you," Allie said, "And we can only go within a five block radius, so that limits our sales to be equal. Does that sound fair?" The girls all nodded in agreement. Trisha and Mae gathered their things - their backpacks and materials - and headed out in one direction from Mae's garage while Allie and Chaz headed out the other. As Trisha and Mae walked down the street, carting along with them their required equipment, they couldn't help but feel a certain companionship in one another, thanks to, as Allie had put it so gracefully, being of different religions. "Why won't your mom let you go on the field trip?" Mae asked. "I don't know," Trisha replied, shrugging, "I think she thinks that if I spend too much time with kids my own age, without her around, that I'll start to act like them, but that's ridiculous. I only wanna act like me. She's so untrustworthy of everyone." "That stinks," Mae said, "But at least at school you get to hang out with whoever you want." "Yeah, that does make life kind of better." The first house the girls stopped at was Mrs. Kwans, only a few houses down the street from where they'd started. Trisha and Mae sighed, prepared and headed up the front porch steps and knocked on the door. As it swing upon, Trisha smiled brightly and held up the catalogue, her voice chipper. "Hello Mrs. Kwan, we're looking to sell some wrapping paper for a school trip for the holidays, would you be interested?" she asked. As Mrs. Kwan let them inside, Trisha couldn't help but feel like she was always a salesgirl, always pretending to sell others things they needed when they didn't. Like her own mother, for example. She wanted to give her the perfect Mormon daughter, but in actuality, she was beginning to feel further and further from such a thing. She didn't mind being Mormon, that wasn't the problem. The problem was being perfect. *** "This one's got dogs," Chaz said, pointing at a piece in the sample book as she sat on the couch beside Allie and an elderly couple, the Krantz's. They had been given candy upon entrance, and the couple seemed genuinely happy to have kids around, which the girls felt gave them an edge over the competition. "Do you have anything that's more holiday themed? The dogs are cute and all, but I like to keep my wrapping in line with the theme of the month," Mrs. Krantz said. "Yeah, maybe something with Santa on it," Mr. Krantz added. "We sure do!" Allie said, turning a few pages and pointing, "See? Here's Santa all over this bad boy, and we also have this one with little bells all over it, or this one with candy canes." "Oh, I like the bells," Mrs. Krantz said, pulling the booklet closer and admiring the paper, "That one's extremely pretty. I think I'd like that one." The first house they'd been to and they'd already made a sale! After they took down the information and left, Allie and Chaz continued down the sidewalk, but something made Chaz feel uncomfortable. Allie, still sucking on the candy they'd been given, glanced over at her friend. "What's going on?" "I don't know...seeing old people at the holidays makes me miss my grandparents," Chaz said, "They're not dead or anything, but I don't get to see them very often, except at the holidays. I wonder how weird it must be to live that old and have your kids leave the house, and then I think about my own mom and how my sister and I are totally gonna do that to her and it makes me feel bad." "You can't just live at home your whole life," Allie said, "I mean, you can, but it makes you a weirdo to everyone. Your mom will be fine. It's not like you're gonna move far away or anything, you know? You'll still see her. Besides, that's, like, years and years away!" "I know but when I think about it, about my dad and...it scares me," Chaz said. "I'm sorry," Allie said, "I guess I don't get scared by it cause I wanna get out. I can't wait to be old enough to move out and have my own place and my own life. I hate living in a trailer. I know it's as good as my dad can give me, and I should be thankful and I am, but...then I go to Mae's house or something and it feels so unfair. Not that that's her fault her parents are richer, but...it's hard to explain." "Forget it," Chaz said, stopping at another house, "Come on, let's sell another roll." *** Trisha and Mae sat on the curb outside the 4th house, having only sold one roll and even then not to someone who needed it but to someone who clearly felt bad for them. Mae offered Trisha some gum, but she politely declined and continued flipping through the pages of the sample book, looking at the papers. "All I wanted to do was go on the field trip," Trisha said, "I thought that, maybe, if I sold enough, proved to my mom that I cared enough to win this, that that might prove to her how important it was to me but I don't think I can sell that much and I don't think she'd ever even understand." Mae felt bad. She got to go on trips all the time, and not just field trips but trips across country and to other states even. She often forgot that other kids, like Trisha, led such sheltered lives, all thanks to the bizarre fears of their parents. She sighed and looked at her shoes as she stretched her legs out into the street. "You know," Mae said, "I could maybe get my mom to chaperone, and then maybe you could go, because your mom likes my mom, and maybe if my mom was with us, your mom wouldn't feel as worried." Trisha looked at Mae, her eyebrows raising. "You'd do that? Wouldn't that be awkward, to have your mom around?" she asked. "I mean, whatever," Mae said, "It'd be worth it to have you with us." Trisha wanted to cry. She was so lucky to have such good friends, and she wanted to hug Mae. After a moment of composing herself, she smiled and nodded, agreeing to the idea. The girls stood up and looked at a house across the street. "Let's try them," Mae said, pointing at the house as Trisha picked up their things; she added, "They're pretty rich, they have a pool and jacuzzi so I think they'll be more willing to waste money on something dumb and unnecessary like wrapping paper." She took Trisha's hand and, together, they crossed the street. *** "We sold 17 rolls," Chaz said, "Can you believe that? 17 rolls! That's nuts!" "We did SO well!" Allie said, the two high fiving as they waited inside Mae's garage for Mae and Trisha to return. Turned out Allie and Chaz wound up being a particularly solid teamup, and in the end, they'd not only managed to sell to almost every house in their radius but in some cases multiple rolls to the same household. They were going to win this things hands down, that much they were certain of, but it wasn't until Trisha and Mae came walking up the driveway that it dawned on them just how much a shutout this actually was. "What do you mean you sold nothing?" Allie asked, "You sold nothing nothing? Like, absolutely nothing at all? That's...how did you manage to do that?" "That's actually almost more impressive somehow," Chaz said, making Allie snicker. Trisha didn't respond. She just walked past them and into Mae's house to get a juice box from the fridge as Mae sat down on the garage floor, Allie sitting across from her. After the door closed behind Trisha, Allie finally looked at Mae and sighed. "She really wanted to win, huh?" Allie asked. "Actually she just wanted to go on the field trip," Mae said, "I think maybe if she won, she could prove to her mom that it mattered to her, and that might convince her, but we didn't manage to sell a single roll and now she's really sad. I feel awful." "...well, why don't we tell her mom that we all sold these together, and that we did it for Trisha?" Chaz asked. "What?" Allie and Mae responded in unison. "Yeah, I mean, if she wanted to go that badly, maybe we should do this for her, like a...a holiday gift or whatever," Chaz said, "I mean, let's face it. none of us have to convince our parents. Trisha's the only one who has trouble getting her mom to agree to things that the rest of us just get to do and that sucks. Maybe if when her mom comes to get her, we show her the papers and tell her how we did our best so Trisha could convince her the trip mattered that much to her, it would be enough." Mae and Allie exchanged a glance and nodded. This might just work, they thought. So, sure enough, when Trisha's mom, Alice, finally came to pick her up, the girls stopped her in the garage and showed her the papers and the proof of rolls sold. They even got Juliet, Mae's mother, to participate, and explain that she'd agreed to be a chaperone on the trip. Alice was, as expected, hesitant as hell, but in the end, she appreciated the effort the girls had gone through for her daughter, and reluctantly agreed to let her go on the trip. To say that Trisha was happy was an understatement, she was beyond ecstatic, though she tried hard to hide it. When the time for the trip came, the girls each packed their bags and, after piling into the car with Juliet, drove up to the area the school bus was headed. It was just a little hotel near the mountains, where it was holiday themed and they had activities the kids could participate in throughout the weekend, and it was everything Trisha could've hoped it would be. Yes, this was going to be the best Christmas ever. *** One morning, on one of the last days, Mae and Trisha got cocoa in the morning with breakfast and sat outside, watching their classmates have snowball fights and such. Allie and Chaz were still asleep, and Juliet was chaperoning the other kids, so Trisha and Mae had a moment of peace. After sipping her cocoa for a bit, Trisha wiped her mouth on her sleeve and looked at Mae. "Thanks," she said quietly, "...thanks a lot, this means so much that you guys did this for me." "Well," Mae said, "I get to go on all sorts of trips, and the other girls don't have to convince their parents to do things, so we figured we should do something nice for you. You guys have celebrated Hanukkah with me sometimes, so it made sense to do this for you." "Do you feel weird, you know, being a different religion?" Trisha asked, and Mae shrugged. "Not really," she responded, "I like being Jewish, and I like that I'm not the only one who's different, cause you're Mormon. It makes me feel like we understand eachother better than the others understand us, you know? But this trip isn't about religion, it's about the holidays in general, and we should all get to celebrate that with our friends." Trisha nodded, smiling and going back to her cocoa. The girls each came from a different household with differing religious beliefs, but in the end, they put those aside because friendship mattered more. Friendship was the real religion, and it was one they al loved to participate in. On the last day of the trip, Trisha bought Mae a Dreidel from the gift shop - small and wooden with blue carvings - and Mae appreciated that small token of kindness so much that she taught all the girls how to play. After all, the holidays weren't about religion, were they? They were about being together, and that's all the girls really cared about. Mae pulled the front door open just to see Allie standing there. Allie was dressed as a Ninja, and Mae was dressed as a Witch. The two girls stared at one another momentarily, before Mae stepped aside and let Allie enter the house.
"Weren't you a witch last year?" Allie asked. "I'm a witch every year," Mae said, "I find it easier to just pick one costume and stick with it. Saves on stress." "That...makes sense, actually," Allie replied, as Mae's mother, Juliet, walked into the area holding a camera in one hand and a bowl of candy in another. She smiled and waved at Allie, who happily greeted her back. Juliet set the bowl on the kitchen table and then turned to face the girls. "So," she said, "Where's Trisha and Chaz?" "They'll be here soon hopefully," Allie said, "I really wanna get going." "Do you know what their costumes are?" Mae asked, and Allie shook her head. "Nope," she said, "Trisha is probably something safe that her mother allowed, and Chaz is probably something ridiculous, as always." Just as Allie said this, another knock came to the door. Mae went back and pulled it open, and there stood Chaz, dressed as a hockey player. Mae once more stepped aside and let Chaz enter, just as a car pulled up alongside the curb and Mae saw Trisha and her mother get out and head up the walk towards the door. Juliet came to the door to greet Alice, as Trisha - dressed as a Ballerina - made her way inside the house. "They'll be fine, yeah?" Alice asked, chewing her lip nervously. "They'll be perfectly fine, they're just going down the street and around the block. Especially in a group, they'll be okay. Are you going to be fine?" Juliet asked, making Alice smirk. "That's a big question," she replied, sighing as she folded her arms, "I just...I worry about her, you know. The world is a sick place and they're young girls, they could easily...I don't know. I just worry. I know I shouldn't, I know I drive myself crazy worrying, but I worry nonetheless." "You're a mom, it's normal to worry," Juliet said, "The girls will be back here no later than 9pm, and you can come pick Trisha up then, okay? Or, Alice, if you want...you could just stick around the house and help me hand out candy. Lord knows I could use the company considering my husband is working tonight." "He's working on Halloween?" "Shooting a party," Juliet said, "A birthday party, specifically." Alice hesitated, then nodded and smiled. "Oh what the heck, sure, I'll hang out here," she said, "Better than going home and worrying." As the girls gathered their bags for candy and headed to the front door, Juliet knelt in front of Mae, grabbing her gently by the shoulder and turning her to face her. She then signaled for the other girls to look at her as well, which they did. Juliet cleared her throat and spoke. "Okay girls, here's the deal. Be back here by 9pm, more or less, and be careful. Aside from the houses you knock at, don't talk to anyone, and look out for one another, okay? Halloween can be...weird, sometimes, so just try and stick together as a group, alright?" "Okay," the girls all said in unison before turning and heading out across the lawn and onto the sidewalk. Juliet and Alice stood at the doorway, watching as the girls headed down the street and disappeared past the bushes. Juliet sighed. She was nervous too, though she'd never admit it, but she had enough confidence in her daughter and her friends to stay safe. After all, it was only Halloween. *** "What do you mean we're not going trick or treating?" Chaz asked, and Allie smirked. "April told me about her older sisters Halloween party. We're gonna do that instead," Allie said, with Mae nodding in agreement. Trisha shook her head. "No, no way, I told my mom I'd be trick or treating and that's what I intend to do," she said. "We're gonna go together, and we can trick or treat on the way there and back. It's only another block away," Mae said, "Think about it you guys, older kids, with probably better candy, and we can just go because we know April. I mean, we're not really friends with her, but we could just show up anyway." "I don't even like April, she's mean and snobby," Trisha replied. "Well this is what we're doing. We planned this out a week ago," Allie said. "Then why didn't you tell us then?" Chaz asked. "Because if we had, you might not have come over tonight," Allie said, "That's why it was a surprise." Trisha and Chaz exchanged a nervous glance, but they knew Allie and Mae wouldn't take them somewhere dangerous. They had faith in their friends. After a brief moment, Chaz finally relented and agreed to go, but as they started to walk off, Mae noticed Trisha was not following them. She turned back and walked to her, lowering her voice. "It'll be okay, it'll be fun," Mae said, "I won't leave your side the entire time, okay?" Trisha smiled weakly at this attempt at comfort, and then exhaled, nodding. Taking her by the hand, Trisha walked with Mae back to the other girls, and all together they began heading the opposite direction, towards a block they rarely went on. They were heading to April Palmer's house for her older sisters Halloween party, and it was a night they wouldn't soon forget. *** "Everything is so sexualized now," Alice said, sitting at the kitchen table and unwrapping then eating half of an Almond Joy; after she finished chewing, she spoke again, saying, "And I know I go to church and all that but I don't think any mother would argue with me that this holiday has been turned into something completely grotesque for young women." "No, I certainly won't argue with you," Juliet said, standing at the kitchen counter, pouring them both glasses of wine; she continued, "I remember when I was 14, I wanted to be a genie for Halloween, and my mom said that the costume was too revealing. But the thing was, I didn't argue with her because I wanted to look attractive, I argued with her because it was Halloween and I wanted to be a genie. The sexualization of it never even remotely crossed my mind." "When we went to get Trisha's costume, I saw a girl maybe a year or two older than her who was begging her mother - who eventually relented to the pressure, might I add - to let her be a cat. Not just like a cute cat or anything, but a skintight leotard, leaving nothing to the imagination, form fitting. Clearly something a young girl should not be wearing." "It's the culture, Alice, all we can do is fight it but we'll never win, even if we're right," Juliet said, bringing the glasses of wine to the table and sitting down, handing one to Alice as she lifted her own to her lips and added, "So you do what you can, you try and teach them right from wrong and you just have faith in them. You got faith in God, put some of that faith in your daughter." Alice smiled a little. Juliet was one of the only parents at the school who would talk to her, and she appreciated it. At times, she even felt bad for thinking Mae was a bad influence on Trisha, because clearly she came from a good home with a good mom. How bad an influence could she be, really? *** April Palmer's family lived in almost the same neighborhood as Mae's, though April's was slightly more upperclass, despite being just a few blocks away. The lawns were perfectly kept, the shrubs were always trimmed, and the houses were far more decadent. As the girls walked down the sidewalk, passing by nice cars and little rich kids in their expensive costumes, they couldn't help but feel somewhat out of place, especially Allie, who lived in a trailer park. "What house is Aprils?" Chaz asked. "It's the third to last on the right side of the street," Mae said, "Last year when we had to sell magazine subscriptions I wound up selling something to her older sister, so that's why I even know." As they got to the house, it was apparent that the party was bigger than any of them had anticipated. April lived in a two story house, with a two car garage, a pool in the backyard and a trellis with ivy growing up the side of the house. Your stereotypical rich house, for better or worse, and it was a sight to behold. Some of the kids were out on the front patio, playing music and eating candy. April's sister was in 7th grade, so these were fairly older kids than the girls were normally around, and that made them all admittedly somewhat uncomfortable, but they decided to continue up the walkway and up the stairs. As they reached the front door, each girl pushed their way past some kids coming out, until all of then except Allie was indoors. Allie only stopped because she heard someone call to her, and she spun around to face a 7th grade boy sitting on the porch rail, waving at her to come over. She cautiously approached, not telling the girls she wasn't with them, and walked up to him. "What are you doing here?" he asked, "You don't look like a 7th grader." "I'm not," she said, "I'm in 4th grade." "You know Laura's little sister, right?" "Kind of," Allie said, "Um, we're in the same class, but we're not exactly friends." "So, what, you guys are crashing this party? That's pretty cool for grade school kids," the boy said, "I'm Trevor." "Allie," Allie said. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad night after all. She'd already made a new friend. Inside, Mae, Trisha and Chaz wound up near the kitchen, where the kids were sitting around with a Ouija Board at the table, the lights dimmed. There were sets of paper cups on the counter next to countless bottles of varying sodas, and Mae got them all a cup of soda before they went to the table and watched as some girls attempted to communicate unsuccessfully with a spirit. "My mom says that the dead shouldn't be disturbed," Trisha said. "Your mom also says if you watch an R rated movie you'll go to hell, so," Chaz said, making Mae chuckle. "I don't like to question her, but I am starting to think that what she considers sins and what God considers sins don't exactly line up," Trisha said, making all three of them laugh more as they each sipped their soda from the cups. Trisha finished her soda and decided to go get herself some more. As she stood at the counter and poured some of the soda into her cup, she heard someone sidle up beside her and glanced to her right to see a boy standing beside her, grabbing a handful of candy from the bowl and shoving them into his sweatshirt pocket. "Hi," she said meekly. "Hello," he said. "You know, that much candy will probably make you sick later," Trisha said, before furrowing her brow and adding, "...you don't look like a 7th grader." "I'm not," he laughed, "I'm in 9th grade. I'm April and Laura's cousin from across town. I just decided to come here cause none of my friends were available tonight, so. You also don't look like you're in 7th grade." "I'm not," she replied, also laughing, "I'm in 4th grade. I kinda sorta know April." "Cool, cool," the boy said, leaning against the counter and unwrapping a candy, biting into it as he pushed his hair from his eyes and added, "does your mom know you're at a party like this?" "Nope," Trisha said, leaning against the counter too, sipping her soda; after finishing she added, "she'd probably lose her mind if she knew." "I like your costume. Ballerina? That's nice. Very classy," the boy said. Trisha blushed. She had to admit, she was coming around to this idea. *** "Happy Halloween!" Alice and Juliet shouted as they waved at the mom walking her little kids away from the house, smiling back at them. Alice sighed and shook her head as Juliet poured some more wine into their glasses. They had moved out onto the front porch to better hand out candy and take in the cute costumes from the neighborhood children. "I swear," Alice said as she picked up her glass, "It was so much easier when they were younger, and they're not even old yet. God. I can't even imagine what it'll be like when they're actual teenagers." "At least they have one another. I didn't have like as close a friend group growing up as they are with eachother," Juliet said, "That already makes things safer for them. But I agree, I miss when Mae was in, like, 1st grade." "At least your husband works from home most of the time," Alice said. "Pffft, like he's much help even when he's here," Juliet said, "He's always focused on work even when he's still here. It's exhausting feeling like a single parent when you're not." "I hear that," Alice said. Another group of kids, who all looked like they were in kindergarten, approached the porch and shouted trick or treat as they held their bags open. Alice and Juliet couldn't contain their joy at the cuteness, and dug into the candy bowl to give the kids handfuls of sweets. *** "You want one?" Trevor asked, holding open his cigarette box, but Allie shook her head. "No thanks," she said. "S'cool," Trevor said, shutting it and pushing it back into his shirt pocket, saying, "I stole 'em from my dad." "Aren't you a bit young to be smoking?" Allie asked, making him laugh. "I mean, probably," he said, "but who cares. Half the kids here are doing things they shouldn't be. Why do you think this party is even going on? Cause Laura's parents don't care what she and her friends do. That's why there's always something happening here, even if it seems low key." "Low key?" "You know, like, chill." "Oh." "There's always some kind of make out session happening somewhere or some weird pool party thing," Trevor said, "but I don't like Laura all that much, to be honest. I think she's stuck up and snobby. Her parents are so rich they never have to think about the people who are in worse situations. Like, I live in a trailer park across town-" "Me too!" "-right, so you know what it's like, to, like, know richer families who take everything for granted while people like us struggle to just have what we have. Sometimes I don't know if I'm gonna get dinner that night, meanwhile these kids are eating pork roast and fancy potatoes every single evening. They never give kids like us a second thought." "...I...I guess, but I have a friend who's kind of wealthy and she's not stuck up," Allie said, making Trevor shrug as he took a drag off his cigarette and then exhaled the smoke away from Allie. "I mean, it doesn't affect everyone," he said, "so consider yourself and your friend lucky. This is why, when I get older, I'm gonna go into politics and make sure that everyone gets represented. Help make sure nobody is poor anymore, and that everyone has equal options and chances." "That sounds cool," Allie said, "My dad works so hard and it's almost never enough." "And that's the problem," Trevor said, "it doesn't matter what someone does or how much they do, everyone deserves an equal share." Allie nodded. She hadn't expected a lesson in theoretical economics and classism when she agreed to come here, but it was something that would greatly affect her viewpoint of the world from there on out. Sadly, Trisha would have a similar, albeit less positive, experience that night. Trisha followed the high school boy, Evan, out to the pool area and immediately appreciated how it dulled the pounding rock music from inside. She could hear herself think again, and she was happy with that. Trisha sat down on a chaise lounge by the pool and kicked her ballet shoes off, stretching her feet. Evan sat down on the lounge beside her and popped another bite sized chocolate into his mouth, eating it as Trisha leaned back and exhaled. Maybe she'd been nervous for no reason, maybe everything wasn't as bad as her mom made it sound. Suddenly, and seemingly without any provocation, she felt Evan put his hand on her leg and push his face against her neck, making Trisha leap up, screaming. At first, she wasn't even sure what exactly had just happened, and she had to take a moment to regain her composure. "What...why did you-" "I don't know, you look cute," Evan said, shrugging. "I'm in 4th grade! Gross!" Trisha shouted, the sliding glass door to the house opening up and two girls coming out, one of which Trisha automatically recognized as Laura, April's older sister, because she'd met her before at the school. "What's going on? We heard someone scream," Laura asked. "This guy tried to kiss me!" Trisha said loudly, pointing at Evan. "Evan, again?!" Laura asked, sounding irate now, adding, "This is why we didn't invite you! You keep doing this and it's so not cool! Get out of our house or I'm calling your mom and telling her!" Evan groaned, stood up and briskly exited through the back gate. Trisha sat back down on the chaise lounge, feeling nervous as Laura and her friend sat beside her. Laura rubbed Trisha's back as her friend offered Trisha a piece of candy, which she took. "I am, like, so sorry," Laura said, "He's done this a number of times, and it's getting worrisome. You're okay, right? He didn't actually do anything did he?" "He put his face against my neck," Trisha mumbled. "Gross, dude," Laura's friend said under her breath. "You have to be careful," Laura said, "Guys can be weird and creepy. I'm so sorry, again. Do you want us to take you home or-" "No, it's...it's okay, thank you," Trisha said, slipping her ballet shoes back on and, somewhat dazed, stood up and thanked them again before heading indoors to find Mae and Chaz, who were now involved in the Ouija Board. After Trisha tapped Mae on the shoulder and Mae turned to see her almost in tears, she slapped Chaz on the arm and the three of them headed out of the house to the front lawn. As they passed by, they motioned for Allie to join them. Allie looked at Trevor and shrugged. "Guess I gotta go," she said, "Thanks for talking to me." "You bet, and hey, fight the man, alright," Trevor said, holding his fist out and Allie fist bumped it, laughing before running after her friends. As they got to the sidewalk, Allie stopped and caught her breath. "What's going on?" she asked. "Can we just go trick or treating now?" Trisha asked quietly, and none of the girls wanted to ask what was wrong, so they all just agreed unanimously to go trick or treating. It was only 7pm, they still had plenty of time to get candy, and make Trisha feel better. As the girls headed down the walk, Mae felt awful. All she'd wanted to do was try something different for Halloween, but all this experience had taught her was that change, change of any kind, was never good. *** "My dentist is gonna be SO MAD at me," Alice said, making Juliet laugh. Both women were somewhat wine drunk now, a surprising thing for Alice to partake in but it was a holiday of sorts, and sitting on the front porch, eating the remaining candy from the bowl. "God," Juliet said, "this is like the only acceptable night to eat nothing but chocolate, and I'm gonna feel so sick tomorrow but it's so worth it. Pairing it with wine was also probably a huge mistake, but a woman's gotta live a little now and then." Alice sighed and leaned against Juliet, shutting her eyes momentarily. Her voice lowered when she finally spoke again. "...thank you for making me see not everything has to be terrifying," she said. "Everyone needs a reminder now and then," Juliet replied. Just then, the girls came up the lawn, Trisha trailing in the back. Allie and Chaz were in the front, comparing their candy haul, as Mae slowed down her pace to keep back with Trisha and try and talk to her. "Are you okay?" Mae asked, and Trisha shrugged. "I just wanna go home," she said quietly. Alice stood up and hugged Trisha, then thanked Juliet and the girls again before leading Trisha to the car. They only lived a few blocks away, so it was safe to say they'd make it home just fine. Juliet picked up the candy bowl, the near empty bottle of wine and led Chaz inside. Allie approached Mae, who was watching as Trisha drove away, and she felt a great deal of sadness in her heart. For once since they'd been friends, something terrible had happened - something that had been partially her fault since she was the one who suggested they go to this party - and Trisha wouldn't talk to her about it. For some reason, Mae got the feeling their friendship was somewhat damaged now. "Do you wanna go in and trade candy and watch movies?" Allie asked. "...okay," Mae replied quietly. "Happy Halloween," Allie said, putting her arm around her friends shoulders, making her perk up a bit. "Happy Halloween," she said back, smiling weakly now. "Guys, guys! Get in here! I got a whole Crunch bar!" Chaz shouted from the door. Halloween was always the girls favorite holiday, but this one was one they wouldn't remember with much fondness, especially Mae and Trisha. Sometimes you got treats. And sometimes you got tricks. |
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FANNYPACK follows 4 girls - Chaz, Allie, Trisha and Mae - in the 90s as they deal with adolescence and friendship. Archives
December 2022
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