Chaz pulled open her closet and started to hang up her t-shirts and blouses, grumbling under her breath. She wasn't in the best of moods, as she was getting somewhat sick of her mother working all the time. As she pulled some hangers down and started pulling her clothes onto them, she couldn't help but notice something was wrong...the closet seemed...emptier...than it usually did. Chaz stepped back and looked at it, tossing her things on her bed and putting her hands on her hips. What was it? What was missing? And then it hit her; her eyes widened in terror, her breath caught in her chest.
Her dollhouse. Where was her dollhouse? *** Charlize Farrar had the dollhouse for as long as she could remember, but the thing is, she never even really played with dolls. In fact, she wasn't even sure she'd ever once owned a doll, but she'd always loved the dollhouse. It was enormous, and it was made of wood. It was painted with a fuschia pink and a deep blue roof and each and every single room was meticulously detailed. Chaz wasn't even sure she'd ever properly "played" with it, but it was of great value and comfort to her, and now that it seemed to have suddenly vanished without a trace, she was feeling sick to her stomach. The phone rang a fourth time, and she was grousing to herself about her mom never answering when she was at work, but just then she finally picked up. "Mom?" Chaz asked. "What's going on? Are you okay?" "I'm home, everything's fine but I can't find the dollhouse in my closet," Chaz said, pacing in her bedroom, "do you have any idea where it could be?" No answer. This made Chaz all the more nervous. Finally, after a moment, her mother cleared her throat and spoke again. "I didn't know," she said softly, "If I'd known, I wouldn't have done anything. I took it to a thrift store yesterday with a bunch of other things. I figured you didn't want it. I hadn't seen it in over a year. I am so sorry, Charlize." "...what thrift store?" Chaz asked, grabbing a pen and a piece of paper. After she got the information and got off the phone with her mom, she then dialed up the only other person she knew who'd drop everything to help her. *** "You have a phone call," Mae's mother told her, handing her the phone while she sat in the living room, watching TV and eating cereal from the box. Mae took the phone and put it to her ear. "Hello?" she asked, "Oh, Chaz, what's going on?" "My mother gave away my dollhouse," Chaz said, "I need you to get your bike and meet me at Questa Park. We're gonna go find it. And be sure to call Trisha and Allie. We're gonna need their help." After Mae called the others, the three of them met at her house then took their bikes to the park. Trisha said she had to be back before dinner, but otherwise everything was fine. Questa was not far from Mae's house, and the girls often went there on their own, so their parents didn't have any qualms with this little outing. As they arrived, they could see Chaz sitting on a bench, her bike parked beside it. The girls all came to a stop and each climbed off their bike as well as Chaz looked up to see them. "We're looking for a dollhouse?" Allie asked, "I'm surprised to know you even own one." "Well I do, and it's important, so we need to find it," she said, "Trisha, did you bring the neighborhood map?" "I did," she said, pulling a folded up map from her fannypack and unfurling it, laying it on the bench for them all to view. The girls had made the map together the previous year in order to help optimize their trick or treating. It was made with crayons and markers and colored pencils, and it encompassed almost the entire surrounding neighborhood along with a little bit of the shops that were nestled within it. Trisha reached in and pointed at a spot, tapping it with her fingers. "This is probably the one she went to," she said, "It's the closest, and it's the one everyone likes. It's also the one with the biggest toy selection, so." "Okay then, that's the one we'll go to," Chaz said, climbing off the bench, pulling her helmet back on and strapping it before climbing back up onto her bike. The girls followed, confused as to the point of this mission but certainly willing to help their friend. The store in question was a little thrift shop run by two older women called Thrift Smart, and it was somewhere Allie was actually fairly familiar with considering most of the furniture in her trailer came from there, along with most other things she owned. All the girls had been there on at least one or more occasions, but Allie was especially familiar with it. It wasn't far either, it was tucked away in a little shopping strip near a drug store and between a VHS rental shop and a chinese restaurant. As the girls pulled up, they parked their bikes and left Trisha and Mae outside to watch them while Allie and Chaz headed indoors to search. "The toy aisle is over here," Allie said as they walked inside, and Chaz followed her as Allie added, "...so...why did this happen?" "I don't know. My mom told me she hadn't seen it in a long time so she figured I didn't want it anymore, but that doesn't make any sense because I never really played with it," Chaz said. "If you don't play with it, then why do you want it?" Allie asked. Chaz didn't answer, and Allie decided not to push it. They reached the toy aisle and started digging, unsure of what they'd find. The way Chaz had described it, however, insinuated that if it were here, it'd be easy to find, given its enormity. Meanwhile, back outside, Trisha and Mae sat on the curb and shared a package of snack crackers Trisha had brought with her in the fannypack. As Mae shoveled a handful of cheese stuffed crackers in her mouth and chewed, Trisha sighed. "I always wanted a dollhouse, but mom won't let me have one," she said. "Why not?" Mae asked. "She says she doesn't want me distracted by make believe, and that I should focus on real life. She says fantasizing leads to sinning," Trisha said, "but it's just make believe. It's not like I'm fantasizing about doing something bad. I'd just play normal house." "Your mom's weird," Mae said, "...sorry." "No, you're not wrong," Trisha replied, "She is. I love her, she's my mom, but she is weird, and sometimes it feels unfair." "I don't have a dollhouse, but you're always welcome to come over and play with my horses," Mae said, referring to her enormous collection of plastic horses, adding, "We could play house but with a horse family!" Trisha laughed and nodded. She appreciated Mae's generosity, and she was grateful to have her as a best friend. Back in the store, Allie and Chaz weren't having any luck, so they headed to the front desk and rang the bell. After a moment, one of the older women came to the counter and looked over it at them, smiling warmly. "How may I help you girls?" she asked. "Did you get a big dollhouse in here recently?" Chaz asked, "it's sort of pink and it's like really huge and-" "Yes, we did!" the woman said, "unfortunately it was sold pretty quickly." "...do you...can you tell me who bought it?" Chaz asked. "It's really important," Allie said, using her familiarity with the owners to her advantage. The woman grimaced, and then sighed, taking a piece of paper and a pen and writing on it. "We're really not supposed to do this, but if Allie says it's important, it must be," she said, "Here, this is the name of the woman who bought it. You can find her in a phonebook, which we have right outside. Good luck, girls." Chaz and Allie re-emerged from the store, and sat down on the curb beside Trisha and Mae, Allie having grabbed a phonebook from the metal bin near the doors on their way out. As Chaz explained it, Allie started sifting through the phonebook, trying to track the name down. Chaz groaned and flopped backwards onto the cement, whining. "This suuuucks," she said, "Even if we find her, why would she ever give it back to me? She bought it, that means it's hers now. I'm never getting it back. Why would my mom do this to me?" "She said it was an accident," Mae said. "Still, she should've asked me first!" Chaz whined, as they heard Allie tap the page, grinning. "I got her!" she said. *** Her name was Kim Parker, and she lived in a fairly nice neighborhood that was at least a half hour bike ride away from the thrift store. It actually was just about off Trisha's map, which made her nervous, but the girls managed to find it nonetheless. Now it just boiled down to finding out which house was hers. Chaz suggested they split into pairs and search the mailboxes, looking at the names on the mail. When Trisha informed her that was illegal, Chaz told her they weren't going to open the mail, just look at the names. Trisha and Mae teamed up, Chaz and Allie being the other team, and they got to work. It took a good 15 or 20 minutes or so, but Trisha eventually found it, a magazine with the name K. Manners on it. As she shoved the mail back into the mailbox, Chaz and Allie running over to them, they all glanced up at the house. They could hear a kid laughing from nearby, and the girls decided to walk to the sidegate and peek over into the backyard. Mae and Allie got on their hands and knees and let Chaz climb on top of them to look over the fence. After a few moments, she finally climbed back down and looked sad. "What was it?" Mae asked. "My back hurts," Allie said, groaning as Trisha helped them both up. "It's a little girl," Chaz said. "We're little girls," Allie remarked, making Trisha and Mae chuckle. "No, I mean little little, like a kindergarten kid," Chaz said, "and she's playing with it. She looks so happy." "Well, at least it's been given to a good home," Trisha said. Suddenly the front door opened, and a woman stepped outside, looking at the girls, who all stopped like deer in headlights and stared back at her. The woman smiled and folded her arms, slowly approaching them. "Everything okay? Can I help you?" she asked. "Are you Mrs. Manners?" Chaz asked. "I am, is there something you girls need?" Kim asked, and Chaz walked up to her, the other girls staying behind. "My name is Chaz, and you bought my dollhouse. My mom gave it away without asking, and it means a lot to me, and I-" "It's a beautiful dollhouse," Mrs. Manners said, sitting on the porch swing, patting the seat, indicating the girls should join her, which they did; only Chaz and Trisha could fit on the swing, so Mae and Allie sat on the porch proper and listened as Mrs. Manners pushed her bangs from her eyes and continued, smiling, "I'm sorry she did that, that wasn't very smart of her. She should've asked you. But when I saw it in the store, I knew my daughter had to have it. She's adopted. My husband and I recently adopted her in the last few months, and she's having trouble adjusting to having a home, so I thought maybe if she could have her own home to play with, it would make her feel more at ease." None of the girls spoke, though they all glanced at one another nervously. Chaz sighed and looked down at her shoes. "...yeah, that makes sense," she said. "I'm sorry this happened to you," Mrs. Manners said, putting her hand on Chaz's shoulder and smiling at her softly, "but it's made her so happy, I couldn't ask her to give it up. You understand, don't you?" "I do," Chaz said. "Do you girls want to come in and have some juice? How far did you come to find me?" Kim asked. "Pretty far," Allie said, "What kind of juice?" Despite being told they shouldn't go in strangers homes, even Trisha felt like this was safe. The girls followed Kim inside, and she gave them each a glass of juice and even a snack. She then invited them to go into the backyard and play with her daughter, an offer the other girls found weird but Chaz happily took up. So after snacks, the girls headed into the backyard and played with Kim's daughter, and for the first time, and last, Chaz actually played with her dollhouse. After the playdate, when it was starting to get darker, the girls all decided it was time to head home. Trisha had to be home soon for dinner, and she didn't want to get in trouble, so the girls rode their bikes back to their side of town, and stopped at the park. The each said their respective goodbyes and said they'd see one another at school tomorrow. Trisha went her way, Allie went her way, but Chaz got off her bike and sat on the bench again, Mae sitting with her. "...are you okay?" Mae asked. "We used to be that girls age," Chaz said, "We used to play with toys like that." "I still play with toys like that," Mae said, shrugging, making Chaz chuckle. "Okay, we still do, but you know what I mean," she said, "...I'm glad she can feel okay, but I don't feel okay." "Do you wanna stay over for dinner?" Mae asked, and Chaz shook her head. "Thanks, but I need to talk to my mom," she said. They said goodbye, and then each rode their bike their way home. Chaz's mom wouldn't be home until an hour after Chaz got back, but when she got inside, she found Chaz sitting in her bedroom with the lights off and the fan on, and looking at a photo album with a flashlight. Her mother, Karen, entered the room quietly, shutting the door behind her as she sat on the bed beside Chaz. "I'm home from work," she said. "I guessed," Chaz said. "What are you doing?" Karen asked, looking at the photo album, and seeing photos of her ex husband. "...dad made me that dollhouse," Chaz said, "it was the only thing he ever did for me. Now he's gone, and we live in a broken home, but that dollhouse wasn't broken and-" "Who said we live in a broken home?" Karen asked. "Kids at school." "Well they're wrong," Karen said, "Just because I'm a single mother doesn't mean our home is broken. A broken home is a home where a family fights all the time, where perhaps things get violent, but your father and I came to a mutual agreement that we shouldn't be together and we separated rather amicably. Sure, he's not in our life anymore, but this is not a broken home, Charlize, and I'm sorry you were told it was. And I'm sorry I sold your dollhouse. Frankly, I'd forgotten he'd made it for you. I'll make it up to you, okay?" Karen then couldn't help but notice that Chaz was crying quietly, and she rubbed her back. "...why doesn't dad come see me?" she asked. "I don't know sweetheart," Karen said, running her hand up Chaz's back and into her mop of blonde hair, sighing as she said, "he was never really interested in having a family, and nobody can force him to come see you, but I do think you're right, and that it's scummy that he doesn't...but I'm here, your sister is here, and we love you so much. Get your jacket and shoes on and we'll go get ice cream, okay?" Chaz smiled weakly. She couldn't resist that offer. As her mother got off the bed and headed for the door, she was surprised to feel Chaz suddenly hug her tightly from behind, and she laughed. She worked a lot, but she loved her children greatly, and she was going to make sure she made this right somehow. Ice cream seemed liked the right start. Every little girl loves ice cream, she thought. *** The next day, at recess, Mae surprised everyone by bringing a bag of her plastic horses, and offered them to the girls to play with that day, to which they all happily agreed, even Allie. So they sat in the sandbox and played with the plastic horses, and Chaz couldn't help but realize how lucky she was to have not just a great mom, but also great friends. Sure, somewhere else a new little girl was playing with her dollhouse... ...but she wasn't playing horses with the only friends she'd ever had, and Chaz felt like she'd won in a way.
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FANNYPACK follows 4 girls - Chaz, Allie, Trisha and Mae - in the 90s as they deal with adolescence and friendship. Archives
December 2022
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